Ordinary Heroes
by IrishLeFay
Summary: SEQUEL TO DELICATE. Dee and Ryo reconnect with each other and slowly fall in love all over again. Meanwhile the nasty serial Meathook murderer is afoot and Dee is more involved then he realizes.
1. Life Less Ordinary

WARNING: This is a sequel to Delicate. If you have not read Delicate this will not make sense.

Disclaimer: Dee, Ryo, Bikky and Fake in general are not mine (yet! Muhahaha!) and I am not making any money from any of this (if I was do you think you'd be reading it on the net?). Lyn, Andrew, their girls, and other original characters ARE mine, and I do plan to one day make money from them, so no usey!

Ordinary Heroes

Chapter One: Life Less Ordinary

By: Irish

Ryo stood in front of the door of Dee's apartment. This was the first time they were supposed to do something socially together probably since they had broken up. Three months on the Meathook Murders hadn't given them a single damn lead but three more dead bodies. Dee was working every contact he had, seeming to know every street kid, drug dealer, and hooker in the entire city. None of them knew anything, none of them had seen anything, and the transgender sex worker community wouldn't talk to them. The very small handful of male to female transgendered women that Lyn knew were very reluctant to out themselves, as some of them had made a complete transition and no one around them knew they had once been men, nor did they want any cops to know. Those who were willing to be out as transgendered weren't willing to go out on the streets at night and talk to their nightwalking sisters.

Dee was climbing the walls and Ryo didn't blame him one bit. Ryo was feeling that way himself, for all of the same reasons as Dee, and not all of them were work related.

Ryo was starting to understand what a sacrifice it had been for Dee to remain celibate for two years while he indulged Ryo's waffling. He hadn't understood it at the time, having never had truly enjoyable sex, but now… The last time he'd had sex had been with Mary, and looking back at that made him shudder, and if he lingered over, it made him gag just a little. Not just because she was a woman (he had been with women in college) but how revolting the entire situation was. There hadn't even been a casual affection on his part. The last time he had sex with Dee was over a year ago. Not that Ryo had anyone to compare him to, at least not other men, but Dee had been an incredible lover. All reports were (if one listened to the locker room talk of Drake and Ted, who were aware of a number of Dee's sexploits, for reasons that were completely beyond Ryo) that Dee was a truly exceptional lover. Even if you weren't a virgin. Ryo missed it. Not just the pleasure, but also the intimacy, the affection, the tender moments afterwards. He could "handle" himself… but he couldn't cuddle with himself.

Dee hadn't taken any lovers. Not even the one-night stands or two-week flings he was known for. That worried Ryo a little. Dee was eating and breathing this case. The only time he took away from it, as far as Ryo could tell, was when he spent time with Bikky. Which is what had prompted him to push Dee to go out with him tonight. Bikky had been at camp for a week now, and Ryo was worried Dee was going to shave his head and start flashing his crotch when he got out of cars.

Ryo took a deep breath and knocked lightly on Dee's door; reminding himself that this was Not A Date. Ryo was okay with that, he really was. There was an ulterior motive, oh yes, but getting in Dee's pants wasn't it. Not tonight anyway. Ryo had formulated a new campaign that technically fell under the 'just friends' category but might, in time, allow for more. He was getting to know Dee. Dee knew more or less everything about him. How that was possible, Ryo didn't know. He supposed it was the same thing that made Dee such a good detective. He heard everything, stored it away, picked up on context clue and implications, and followed threads of logic. Ryo had never thought to apply those skills to his own personal life.

He also had to admit, even though he loved Dee, he'd never gone out of his way to know the man. Dee had always been the one to feed him tidbits. Those tidbits were only the tip of the iceberg. The Orphanage, Jess… it was so easy to take those stories, those parts of Dee, and assume that that was it. Not because Dee was shallow, but because being thrown away by your parents, watching two people you loved die, and being exposed to drug and sex trafficking all by the time you were fourteen was more then enough for any one life. They were actually two of Dee's least painful stories to share.

So, Ryo was endeavoring to learn more about the man he loved. Learn all the things Dee knew about him about Dee. If he did that Ryo thought it would go a long way to fixing part of what had been wrong to begin with.

The door opened the length of its security chain, one of Dee's green eyes peering out. "Hey Ryo," he greeted before the door shut again, the chain was slid off, and Dee opened it the rest of the way. That was rare; Dee almost never had his security chain on, especially not when he was expecting someone.

"Hey Dee," Ryo smiled. "Ready?"

"Almost, come on in. Just need to put my boots on," Dee's reply was a little cool, but Ryo was unworried. Dee needed to warm up to him these days. It always took a good twenty minutes before Dee would relax around him and start smiling.

Ryo came in, following Dee far enough into the apartment that he could sit on the arm of the couch. He looked around him, surprised at how neat the apartment was. Dee wasn't a slob, but he was a busy man who lived alone, and unlike Ryo, functioned just as well when it was cluttered as when it was clean. Now, though, the place was almost spotless. There wasn't even dishes in the sink. Not even leftover coffee in the pot, and there was _always_ left over coffee in the pot.

"Wow, Dee, the place looks good. I like what you did for Bikky. He told me about it, but I haven't actually been up here to see it yet."

"Well, a kid needs his privacy and I wasn't about to make him sleep on the couch." Dee shrugged, glancing over his shoulder at his closed bedroom door as he laced up a boot. He looked a little jumpy.

"Dee?"

It was a woman's voice. Coming from Dee's bedroom. Ryo couldn't help himself, he tensed and froze. Why did Dee have a woman here now? Had someone moved in with him? How could Ryo possibly have not heard about that!

"What's up, Sal?" Dee called back, looking a little skittish too as he straightened, a foot still up on the seat of one of his kitchen chairs. The bedroom door opened and 'Sal' stuck her head out, her shoulders were bare and Ryo could see she was covered only by one of Dee's towels. She looked as startled to see Ryo, as Ryo was to see her.

"Oh, I'm sorry Dee, I didn't realize your friend was here, I'm sorry. I'd introduce myself but, ah…" She chuckled sheepishly. A strawberry blonde with chin length hair and a double shiner and split lip. She was pretty under the bruises, snub nosed, slender.

"It's okay, uh, Ryo, this is Jane. Jane, this is my partner Ryo," Dee cleared his throat, and Ryo was shocked and disheartened to see that Dee was blushing. "What did you need?" he asked Jane.

"I wanted to ask if you had a spare razor," she bit her already abused lip, seeming to sense the tension in the room.

"Go ahead and use mine. I'll pick up some new blades tonight, no big deal, ah shaving cream's under the sink," Dee cleared his throat for a second time.

"Great, thanks, uh, nice to meet you Ryo. Next time I promise I'll be more presentable and you won't have to listen to the details of my personal hygiene." She laughed, a bit shrill with nerves.

"No problem. Enjoy your shower," Ryo managed to smile, hoping it didn't look as plastic as it felt. It was not Jane's fault this was the most awkward moment on the planet.

"Right. Have a good night Dee… uh… yeah…" She pulled her head back into Dee's bedroom and shut the door quickly, then thumbed the lock. Dee's bathroom was only accessible through his bedroom.

"So, that's Jane?" Ryo tried to joke.

"Don't, Ryo," Dee was frowning at him deeply.

"Don't what?" Ryo asked, feigning innocence. It wasn't at all fair for him to be upset about this. He'd been with someone else with in months of their breakup. Nor had he had the courtesy to tell Dee.

"Don't. Just don't. Don't assume you know anything. Just… don't…" Dee shook his head, angrily pulling on his other boot and lacing it up jerkily. Ryo swallowed and cleared his throat now too.

"I'm sorry Dee, I swear I'm really trying not to be an ass," Ryo gnawed his lip. Damnit, the first time Dee was willing to see him outside work without the buffer of Bikky between them, and this was what happened? Damnit.

"I know you are," Dee was abrupt as he straightened, grabbing his wallet from a dish on the counter. Ryo watched incredulously as Dee took out a twenty and laid it on the table. His eyes must have been the size of dinner plates, because when Dee looked at him scoffed.

"Yeah, that's right Ryo, I picked up a prostitute, a fucking cheap one at that, before I was supposed to get together with you, and I'm leaving her alone in my apartment afterwards to shower,"

Ryo winced at the acidic sarcasm, and then winced even more as Dee took the magnet off his fridge for the local Chinese deliver place and slapped it down on the table on top of the twenty. He was leaving her money for food.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. You're right, that was stupid; I just didn't know what to think. I'm a little off balance here," Ryo was annoyed. Annoyed that Dee was so defensive, annoyed with himself about not having a better poker face.

"Lets go," Dee growled, marching out the front door. Ryo trailed after, watching as Dee locked the door from the outside.

The walk to the Japanese restaurant they were going to, a new place that had no history for them was a silent one. Ryo was squirming by the time they got to their table, and even watching Dee was unable to read him at all. The man was like fort Knox when he wanted to be. They were both hiding behind their menus when Dee finally spoke.

"She's not my damned girlfriend, she's not a hooker, and she's not someone I'm sleeping with or have any desire to sleep with."

Ryo slowly dared to peek over his menu. Dee wasn't looking at him, instead glaring at the menu. Ryo did know, at least, that that glare wasn't actually meant for him. Dee always glared at menus.

"Okay… so… who is she?" Ryo almost squeaked, not wanting to piss Dee off any more than he already had.

Dee took a deep breath, setting his menu down and pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment. "What are you getting?"

"Huh?"

"What are you ordering? For food? And what do you recommend?" Dee asked.

"Uh… I'm getting the mixed sushi plate. I know you aren't fond of sushi though," and Ryo felt proud that he knew why too. It wasn't the taste, or the idea, it was the texture. Dee hated the texture of the sticky cold rice. "You might like the shrimp."

Dee nodded once and pushed his menu away, and fell quiet. Ryo waited. Reflecting that even though they weren't together any more some things never changed. Dee always asked Ryo what he was having at a new restaurant, then asked either what he recommend or what else sounded good, then always ordered one of the things Ryo had said.

"Ryo, you've got to swear you won't say anything to anyone. I mean it. If I tell you, you have to forget it the minute I say it," Dee's voice was intense, as were his eyes, as he leaned forward on the table.

"Is it illegal?" Ryo frowned.

"Illegal, but morally right," Dee replied after just a moment of thought. Ryo took a moment to think too, before he responded.

"Okay. I don't think there is anything that you'd consider moral even if it were illegal, which I'd disagree with. I promise," Ryo knew that if nothing else, Dee had a very strict code of honor, and had long ago given up most of his lawbreaking. So if he was willing to risk his badge, and called it a moral duty, Ryo was confident that keeping the secret wouldn't be that hard.

"You saw her face. She's been battered by her husband for the last five years. I don't know a lot of the details, and even if I did, I couldn't share. Suffice to say, her husband works somewhere in the justice system, and if she didn't completely vanish off The Grid, he'd find her. And probably kill her." Dee was whispering now. "She's tried to leave twice before, and he always manages to drag her back."

"Okay…" Ryo said slowly, not fully understanding.

"Come on, Ryo, surely you've heard of the Women's Underground?"

Ryo blinked. He had. It worked on much the same principle that the Underground Railroad had. Women who were victims of domestic violence, sometimes with children, were passed along a series of 'connections'. If Dee were one of those connections, he'd only know the next person on the chain, and maybe the person before him. Women were secreted across state and even country boarders in this manner, and eventually presented with false identities and documentation at the end of the track, to start new lives. It wasn't explicitly illegal, passing women from house to house, but often they took their children with them, or had taken money or other assets from their husbands, and that's what was illegal about it. That, and the illegal, forged, documents that they were given to start their new lives.

"But… I thought that was a 'by women, for women' kind of thing?" Ryo finally managed to ask. Dee shrugged.

"Usually, because most of the stops are women who themselves have left abusers, since they're the only one with connections to do so. But married couples are sometimes stops too."

"You're not married, nor a battered woman, and you grew up here in the city, so you've never made use of this type of resource yourself… how did you get involved?" Ryo had never known this about Dee. Never in all the time they'd known each other. He supposed that was the point, though.

"I was approached, by one of the connections. I've been with the NYPD since the moment I was out of the academy, and I guess I have a reputation for being sympathetic to women's issues. I don't entirely get it myself. I suppose what it comes down to is that I believe a woman when she says she's raped, and I try to genuinely help women who are victims of violence, not just shut them up or sweep it under the rug, which is unspoken policy, and you damned well know it is," Dee was fiddling with his chopstick, looking uncomfortable.

"You're a good cop Dee, you've always been a good cop. You got this rep back when you worked beat I take it? Since most of the women we see are dead." Ryo asked, pausing a moment as the waiter appeared, ordering and waiting as Dee ordered.

"Yeah from when I was on beat," Dee nodded. "Can you believe it, me, a feminist? Not a word I would have used for myself, but if believing women are people is feminism, count me in." he chuckled a little. "Anyway, they wanted another contact on the force, for a lot of reasons, many of which are less then legal and could potentially get me fired. It's the right thing to do though. The NYPD should be helping these women in the first place. If the force isn't doing it's job, then I'll do it for everyone else. Fuck the rules. Hell, fuck the law."

"You do have such a way with words, Dee," Ryo chuckled softly. "Well, I promise I won't tell. Whoever picked you out as a connection did a damn fine job." Ryo paused, quiet a moment. "And I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions. I just didn't know what to think."

"To be fair, situations reversed, I would have jumped to the same ones," Dee said, giving Ryo some emotional wiggle room.

"No you wouldn't have, not if it was a woman, you've known longer then I have which team I bat for," Ryo shrugged a bit. "You switch hit."

Dee shook his head. "Well I've been benched for a season or two now anyway, but I'll be honest Ryo, I'm less interested in women of late. Although, to be really honest, I haven't been to interested in anyone of late," Dee shifted uncomfortably, and Ryo wondered what was buried under the layers, hidden between those words, what it would translate to in plain language.

"Oo have you gotten Lyn's 'sexuality is a continuum and fluid' speech? Sometimes when he talks I expect him to pull out an easel, one of those huge tablets of drawing paper and some permanent markers and just go to town," Ryo laughed, changing the subject easily enough. He understood, that if nothing else, the conversation they had been having had been dancing way too close to 'relationship' territory.

"Yes, and his 'What is Gender' talk, and the 'Sex Roles in Same Sex Relationships' presentation. I swear to God that the man thinks in PowerPoint at times," Dee was smiling more easily now, laughing a little as he sipped his water.

"He has a way of turning a conversation into a lecture… he just gets so excited, though, it's hard to be bored," Ryo smiled in reaction to Dee's smile. Dee had the most wonderful smile. His real smile, not his obnoxious I'm-such-a-smart-ass smile.

"I suggested he and Andrew team teach a class, and they could call it Queeries… you know like Inquiries or Theories?" Dee grinned, he was proud of that little pun. Ryo choked on his water, managing to keep it in his mouth, but coughed pretty hard for a minute, eyes watering.

"Oh, that's classic!" Ryo laughed when he could breath again.

It was a good meal. They chatted; mostly about people they had in common, Lyn, Andrew and the girls, Bikky, Ted, Drake, JJ, Penguin. Those were safe subjects. Not about feelings, not about work, not about the past. Towards the end of the meal they even managed some congenial talk about the upcoming presidential election. Politics were fairly safe, in that Dee and Ryo were both left wing independents, but they didn't agree on everything, which made it a conversation, instead of just a lot of agreeing. Ryo realized though, that Dee was incredibly slick at managing not to talk about himself. Ryo knew through Lyn that Dee had completed a year of college, but Dee had yet to say a single thing about his grades or his class work, or even if he planned to go back again in the fall. In fact Dee had yet to mention it at all to Ryo, ever.

When the waiter brought their checks, they were separate, and each paid for his own meal. It was all carefully choreographed to be Not A Date. When they stepped outside, Ryo was surprised that Dee didn't light up, another change.

"When did you stop smoking?" Ryo asked as they walked down the street, the sound of The City and night rushing around them. How often had they walked like this?

"Oh, I haven't, not entirely, anyway, but I'm getting there," Dee smiled a little. "Some days are just too damned stressful, ya know?"

"Yeah, enough that I've thought about taking up smoking," Ryo laughed. Conversation trailed off a little awkwardly after that, but the silence slowly eased into something companionable. Dee didn't suggest they do anything else, so Ryo simply walked Dee back to his place, wondering absently about Jane.

Dee stopped at the door of his building turning to Ryo, giving him a small smile. "Tonight was really nice Ryo. It was good to get out."

"I'm glad you had a good time, Dee. I'm really glad you took me up on this." Ryo smiled a little too, putting his hands in his pockets to be sure to keep them to himself. He didn't want to ruin tonight by doing something that Dee took offense too.

"Listen…" Dee trailed off, then shook his head. "Goodnight Ryo,"

"Goodnight…"

They both stood, lingering a moment. Dee wasn't moving away, and Ryo couldn't decide what that meant. The tension grew as neither of them moved. Ryo felt himself slipping one of his hands out of his pockets and resting it lightly on Dee's chest. When Dee didn't move away, it was more willpower then Ryo had to keep from leaning forward, going up on his toes.

His mouth found Dee's and brushed against it lightly. A shiver of pure desire ran down Ryo's spine and he tilted his head more, leaning in for a second time, intending on something more passionate, but Dee caught his chin, stopping Ryo's face inches from his own.

"Don't push your luck," Dee whispered, intense green eyes looking down at Ryo studying him.

Ryo went back on flat feet, ducking his head a bit to kiss Dee's palm. "Alright Dee, I won't," he whispered, taking a step back, then another, hands returning to his pockets. "Good night, Dee."

"Good night, Ryo. Sleep sweetly," Dee murmured, before turning his back to Ryo, unlocking the door to his building and slipping in. Ryo stood, watching him through the glass doors as Dee walked across the lobby and up the stairs, until his heels disappeared from view. Ryo took a long deep breath, smiling to himself. It was a start. It was a start.

Author's Note: Sorry, sorry, I'm a day late getting this out! My mom had hip surgery and this just slipped away from me! It isn't the strongest start in the world, but it's a start! Welcome to the new story everyone! 


	2. Things Remembered

WARNING: This is a sequel to Delicate. If you have not read Delicate this will not make sense.

Disclaimer: Dee, Ryo, Bikky and Fake in general are not mine (yet! Muhahaha!) and I am not making any money from any of this (if I was do you think you'd be reading it on the net?). Lyn, Andrew, their girls, and other original characters ARE mine, and I do plan to one day make money from them, so no usey!

Ordinary Heroes

Chapter Two: Things Remembered

Dee would kill him. That's all there was to it. If Dee had any idea what he was up to, he'd come down here and cram the microfiche reader so far down Ryo's throat that he'd have to put the film up his butt and use a series of dental mirrors to read it down in his stomach. In fact, Ryo reflected with a smile, that's exactly what Dee would tell him if he knew. Dee had such a way with words. Ryo was willing to risk a hundred pounds of metal down his throat, microfiche up his ass, and a series of dental mirrors, though, especially considering the odds of Dee finding out were slim to none.

Ryo was at the city library, looking through every March issue of the 1977 newspaper. He was sure a story like a baby found in an alley would warrant at least some attention, even in New York City. Not front page attention, of course, which was what made this tricky. If Dee knew the exact date he'd been found, he'd never told Ryo and the only other person likely to know, Mother Maria was conveniently far too busy to ever speak to him. Not that Ryo blamed her for not wanting to speak to him, but it made his search for Dee's story far more difficult.

What Ryo did know was that Dee's legal "birthday" was in fact not his birthday at all. It was a ballpark guess made by the doctor who had first assessed him. His legal birthday was March twentieth. He was probably born a couple days before that, but could have been born a couple days after as well. It did mean that Dee was probably found after March twentieth, but had started his search with March the seventeenth, just to be sure.

He had been in the library for three hours now, and was starting to have a very serious crick in his neck. It was very slow work. He was up to March twenty-eighth and there was no—

Ryo paused, backtracking on the screen just a bit, a headline catching his eye:

**"Baby Boy Found in Back Alley"**

It was somewhere deep in the "local" section, no picture, the font of the headline hardly bigger then the font of the article itself. It was the first story about an abandon baby that Ryo had found so far, thought. He pushed his glasses up on his nose, heart starting to beat a bit harder.

_Sunday morning of March the twenty-seventh an NYPD officer on his daily beat investigated what he called in as a 'suspicious noise' in an alley in south Manhattan. Officer Jesse Latner of the 52__nd__ was quoted to say, "I thought it was some cat some kids had gotten their hands on. Almost didn't find the little guy, he was blue as anything." The police officer then called for an ambulance and the infant was rushed to Saint Jude Children's Hospital. Doctors say he will be held for a day or two and monitored and tested to assure his health. The infant is being treated for exposure and malnutrition and weighs in at only five pounds, seven ounces at seventeen and a half inches long. The police have few leads as to who the mother of the infant may be, but assure the public that she will be charged to the full extent of the law. The only clue to where the infant has come from is the blankets he was wrapped in. One has the letter 'D' embroidered into one corner; the other appears to be hand knitted. If you have any information please contact the NYPD at 1-800-STOPCRIMES._

Ryo bit his lip, reading the story a second time, feeling his throat fist. He could just picture an infant Dee. He would have been so tiny and his eyes were probably still the slate blue color that all babies were born with, but maybe a hint of green. He would have had thick black hair, though, and long black lashes. Jesse Latner, the late, not-so-great Jess, had said Dee was 'as blue as anything'. Which probably meant Dee was actually white, but blue around the edges, very close to freezing to death, just making soft little mewling noises, not even able to cry. That didn't answer what Ryo really wanted to know though. He had been able to guess at most of what had been in that article, knowing that Dee was abandoned as an infant, and what month he had been abandoned in. What he really wanted to know was why Dee had never been adopted. Ryo knew that Upstate, a story like Dee's would have been big news, and warrant air time, there would have been hundreds clamoring to adopt him. An infant, who was probably perfectly healthy after a little treatment to recover from his ordeal, the only hesitation anyone would have had was that Dee didn't exactly look white, but he could be just be from darkly colored Italian or Greek blood. Of course, he could just as likely be at least half Native American, Indian or Latino, but Ryo couldn't believe that a healthy baby boy, who could pass as white, had gone unadopted.

He clicked a couple buttons, printing off the article, before continuing his search. It was easier, now that he knew what section and approximately what page, as the story would probably continue to be in that general location. Two days later, there was a very brief blurb that no suspects had been found but the investigation was continuing. About a week later, there was another decent length article.

**Abandoned Baby Placed in Foster Care: Mother Unknown**

_The baby boy found in a Manhattan alley on March twenty-seventh has been released into foster care, placed at Saint Christopher's Home For Children. Doctors say that he was released in good health but were unable to rule out the possibility of mental disabilities that may become apparent over time, due to malnutrition in his first critical days of life, the impact of the exposure he suffered, or due to prenatal issues and negligence._

_The infant has been dubbed "D" until and adoptive family has been found, in honor of the only clue to his identity, a letter 'D' embroidered on one of the blankets he was wrapped in. The police continue to urge anyone with any information of who the birth mother may be to contact the NYPD at 1-800-STOPCRIMES._

Ryo sighed softly, printing that article as well. No adoptive family had ever been found for Dee, of course, and so he was never given any other name. Dee's name wasn't D-e-e, it was just "D". Eventually they would have reissued a birth certificate and on that it was probably spelled out, and a variation of Jess's family name used, to honor Dee's "hero".

Some hero, Ryo thought bitterly, he'd never adopted Dee, or even fostered him. Ryo could understand a single man's hesitation in taking in a newborn, especially when that man was a single cop who had still been working beat. Eventually Jess had made detective though, and Dee had been fourteen when Jess was killed, old enough to be a latch key kid. Any kind of home would have surely been better then none. Of course, Jess had been a crooked cop, so maybe it was better he'd left Dee in the orphanage. He hadn't really left Dee alone though.

Dee didn't talk too much about Jess, aside from telling the story of how he'd died that one time; Jess's name rarely came up. Ryo could tell though, by what Dee's values were, how he did his job, and his relationship with Bikky, that in the end Dee's relationship with Jess had been more detrimental emotionally then helpful. It had given Dee a drive to succeed, but he it had left him more scarred then he already was.

It was amazing, really, how well adjusted Dee managed to be considering his past, Ryo thought. Even physically. Ryo could tell by what Dee's listed weight and length were that he was underweight, both technically, but he also had to have been one long skinny baby. Ryo had been a preemie and hadn't been all that much lighter than Dee, though not nearly as long.

Ryo sighed again, folding up the two printed articles and slipping them into a pocket. No wonder Dee was so adamant about this case. He thought of himself as a 'throw away', like the victims, someone could vanish without notice. Ryo could understand why he might feel that way, considering he had been literally thrown away as an infant, but that couldn't have been less true. Dee was the only single guy Ryo knew who got dozens of Christmas cards each year. Most of them came to him at the precinct. People Dee had helped over the years, lives he'd changed or saved, who once a year remembered Dee and took the time to thank him. Like Lyn. Of course, Dee still didn't know who Lyn was, to the best of Ryo's knowledge. It made Ryo wonder about Lyn too, what he had been like back then. Dee had an amazing memory for faces and Lyn must have looked very different for Dee not to recognize him.

Ryo sighed softly to himself as he gathered his things and made his way back out of the library basement. The world was such a small place sometimes. There was a theory that said if you sat in one place long enough, everyone you ever knew would eventually pass by. Ryo doubted that, at least for himself, since he knew many people out of the country. Then again, New York was one of the major world cities. Dee had lived his whole life in the boundaries of New York City, and Ryo thought that maybe, just maybe Dee really could sit in one spot, and eventually have everyone he'd ever known pass by. He wouldn't even have to sit that long.

- O – O – O – O – O -

Dee was silent as he scrubbed the aging wood of a ceiling beam in the chapel of Saint Christopher's Home for Children. He was straddling the beam and leaning forward to reach the graffiti "tag" that had been sprayed on it. It wasn't the most comfortable position in the world, and he had to be very careful, least he damage some parts he'd rather keep intact. On the other hand, his parts had only been used by him of late; so crushing them would just make his celibacy official instead of accidental. He had been able to reach by standing with his feet on the backs of the wooden pews, but he hadn't been able to get any kind of leverage to scrub, so he had levered himself right up into the rafters and had had Penguin hand up the bucket of water and the scrub brush. Penguin had just clucked her tongue. Dee had always been fond of heights, and she didn't bother to admonish him about climbing about like a monkey.

She worked below him, scrubbing at pews that had undergone the same degradation, also in a very familiar pose. On her knees. Some hoodlums had broken in to the chapel of the orphanage by throwing a brick through the stained glass and climbing on through. Dee was to exhaust by work to feel as angry as he knew he should, so he just scrubbed away at the rafters.

"You know Dee, I've been getting some interesting phone calls of late," Penguin called up to him, her voice suspiciously nonchalant.

"Mother, how many times do I have to tell you, you need to call the police so they can deal with it. You know all the cops around here are good ol' Irish Catholics, they'll help you out," Dee called back, mistaking the oh-so-calm voice as hiding stress instead of a busybody's meddling.

"No, no, not that kind," Mother Maria rolled her eyes. Her poor Dee really was exhausted. "Interesting calls about you."

"What?" Dee paused, looking down at her. "Me? Why?"

"Maybe you should be going home and getting some sleep, dear, you're being unusually slow this afternoon. Are you getting enough to eat?" She clucked.

"Yes, Peng-Mother, I am," it was Dee's turn to roll his eyes. "If I ate as much as you told me to, I'd be so fat you'd have to widen all the doors."

"I don't foresee that being a problem," Mother Maria muttered. "And yes, you. Because, someone seems to have a renewed and persistent interest in you."

"Huh?" Dee had stopped scrubbing all together and was now leaning back on his hands on the rafter beam. He couldn't scrub and think at the same time, it seemed, besides, his nuts needed a break.

"Mr. McLean, Dee. Randy. He's been calling here for almost two weeks now," the nun said, keeping her eyes on her work and not looking up at her surrogate son.

"He's been doing what? What in God's name for?" Dee frowned. Ryo had been very good about keeping a semi-professional distance since they had become partners again. This was neither distance, nor professional. It was annoying and invasive.

"Well, I haven't stayed on the phone with him more then a moment or two. Its not like I need to make up excuses to get off the phone around here. He's been asking about you. He says he wants to talk to me about you, to learn some things about you," Mother Maria continued to keep her head down, eyes on what she was scrubbing, her habit hiding an amused little smile.

"It's none of his damned business is what!"

"Dee!" She snapped. She looked up at him with a very stern look. "It's one thing for you to use that foul mouth everywhere else, but in the house of the Lord can you at least pretend you aren't a total heathen?"

"Sorry Mother –" he glanced upward and crossed himself sheepishly "—and Father. It's still none of his business."

"Dee," Penguin sighed softly, "You know that I, of all people, support you in all that you do. If I didn't have a Vocation, I could almost hate him for what he did to you. I know he broke your heart."

"But?" Dee grumbled, hearing it coming. He swung his feet a little, looking up into the roof of the chapel. He'd spent lots of time up here as a kid, amongst the rafters. He liked high places, found them soothing.

"But… Dee, he is a genuinely kind man who still has your heart, no matter how angry you are at him. He may have made a huge mistake in letting you go… but I've never seen you happier then when you were with him, and I can think of only a very few times I've seen you more depressed then after you broke things off." Penguin shrugged a little, her eyes gentle as she watched him. "Do you really think he'd hurt you a second time?"

Dee was quiet a very long time. He sat up on the beam, drawing a knee up to his chest and wrapping his arms around it, watching his other booted foot dangle far above the floor. "No, I don't think he would," he said finally, just a whisper, but the acoustics of the chapel carried it well enough. "It's not him, Penguin, it's me."

"Well, I believe that entirely," she snorted. "You always think it's you." She shook her head, her habit swaying, as she returned to scrubbing the pew she was working on.

"That's because it's always me," Dee replied with a shrug. "If there is one thing I know, it's my own… dysfunctions."

"That's the problem, Dee, you only see your quirks. I know life hasn't been kind to you, Lord how I know it, but you are more then damaged goods. In fact, I happen to believe there's no such thing as damaged goods. We're all exactly as the Lord made us." Mother huffed.

"Yeah, well God also made the platypus, and don't you try and tell me that wasn't some kind of fu- mistake."

"God doesn't make mistakes. That's why he's God and not the cable guy. Okay, so, what "dysfunction" of yours is it that's keeping you from sorting things out with Randy?" There was no point in debating Dee's intrinsic sense of self-worth, or lack there of, nothing had ever been able to convince him he was worth his weight in gold.

"It's a lot of things. I was the one who broke it off in the first place, because I was angry and proud. If I hadn't been such a crybaby, if I had just stuck it out, it would have been fine. But no, one little bit of trouble and I'm storming out. You're right Mother, I've never been happier then when I was with him, but I threw it away. I don't deserve him." Dee sighed, then yelped and almost fell out of the rafters as Mother through a heavy wet sponge at him.

"Oh no you don't, Dee Jude Laytner! Don't you start with that whole 'I don't deserve', line of bull shit." Mother snapped, catching the sponge when it bounced off of Dee and tumbled back down to her, leaving a big wet spot on his shoulder.

"Language, language, Penguin," Dee smirked.

"Don't you worry about the state of my soul, or language, young man. I'm sure the Lord will forgive me since I'm dealing with your insufferable self!" The nun shook her finger up at him angrily.

"You are just as good as anyone else. I may not be able to convince you of your true worth, but you are no less then anyone else! You didn't deserve his stupid games, that's for sure, and you didn't deserve to play second string to his bigoted ideas of a perfect life. To be honest, he doesn't deserve you!"

"Mother, come on! He's probably twice over as smart as I am, nearly three times as educated, he's going places. I'm going to have to hold on to the rank of detective with nails and teeth to keep it. I barely made it through the police academy, and I'm dumber then a chimp!" Dee retorted. "No, worse, I'm dumber than your average police dog, they at least know how to take orders!"

"Not another word, or I swear I'll hit you with a ruler so hard you won't be able to use your hands for a week! You're none of those things. That's like comparing a high strung high bred racing stallion to a plow horse," Mother snorted. "Sure, a racing champion is sleek and beautiful, refined, probably rich. A racing champion breaks a leg and it's in the news for days. A plow horse is all but invisible. But a plow horse can survive the winter out in the field in the winter, tills the fields in the spring and helps with the harvest in the fall. Which would you rather have? I horse that's fast and pretty but useless, or a good plow horse?"

"I'd rather have a motorcycle, thanks." Dee replied dryly, which earned him another wet sponge. This one he caught though.

"And I'd rather have a mute then a sassy boy in my rafters, but we take the hands we're dealt. You take my point though. You may not have pedigree, you may not have a shelf full of shiny trophies, but that doesn't make you one lick less then Ryo."

"Fine, fine, you could argue a lawyer into the ground you know." Dee grumbled, not really conceding but unwilling to fight with her.

"I do. So, besides your extremely lame 'I'm not good enough for him' defense, what else?" She asked, catching the sponge when he dropped it back down to her carefully.

"I dunno, Penguin… I just… I don't know what to do any more. I still love him, you're right," Dee sighed. "And I don't deserve him, but that's nothing new. Part of me feels like I should grovel at his feet with thanks that he still wants me at all. At the same time, I'm still angry and I also know I would never have the strength to leave him a second time. It's pathetic. I'm so desperate for any kind of freaking affection that I'd trip all over myself. Anyone else in the world would have moved on without a look back." Dee rubbed his face. It made his throat tight just to think about all this.

"You don't trust him," she said, her voice soft again.

"I guess I don't," Dee agreed.

"That is a problem," Penguin nodded, working again. "What made you trust him the first time?" 

Dee was quite again for a very long time. He hadn't picked up his work again. In fact he'd almost forgotten what he was doing up in the rafters. "I think a combination of his kindness, his vulnerability, and my own desperation,' he answered finally.

"I see," the nun nodded a little again. "Well, he's still kind. I should think that all this gay or straight business has probably made him significantly less vulnerable. I think he's trying real hard, Dee, to win your trust again."

"Yeah, I know he is,"

"What would it take, then, for him to earn your trust?" Penguin asked him the very question he'd been asking himself, mostly subconsciously, for some time.

"I don't know, Mother. Maybe it's something only time can solve." Dee sighed softly

"Maybe it is, my son, maybe it is, time heals most wounds," Mother Maria agreed

Tenderly, before her voice became brisk again. "It doesn't, however, get those rafters any less painted," she said pointedly.

Dee stayed the rest of the day, helping clean the chapel, then helping the nuns prepare and serve dinner, lending a hand to feed one of the addicted babies currently residing a the orphanage. After that he had story time with some of the littler ones, and helped get everyone into their beds. He found his own bed rather early that night, not too long after he helped put the children to bed.

He staggered straight back to his bedroom without even turning on the lights in his apartment. Jane had been gone for a few days now, which he was vaguely grateful for. It was always nice to be able to sleep in his own bed. He stripped down to his boxers and fell into bed, asleep before he'd even finished lying down. Dee's sleep was a soothing one, as he dreamed of his beloved and how things could be.

Author's Note: Hey everybody, I hope you enjoyed chapter two here. I also have a little treat for you, there is an "intermission" posted on my blog, a little dream sequence that happens after Dee falls asleep here, but I can't post it here due to FFN's rules on mature content. If you're of age though, check out Dee's sexy dream at http // deskofirish (dot) blog (dot) com / 2531215 / Just remember to actually make the dots . and take out the spaces:)


	3. Everything to Everyone

WARNING: This is a sequel to Delicate. If you have not read Delicate this will not make sense.

Disclaimer: Dee, Ryo, Bikky and Fake in general are not mine (yet! Muhahaha!) and I am not making any money from any of this (if I was do you think you'd be reading it on the net?). Lyn, Andrew, their girls, and other original characters ARE mine, and I do plan to one day make money from them, so no usey!

Ordinary Heroes

Chapter Three: Everything to Everyone

By: Irish

Dee glared at the newspaper a moment before he flung it across their small office. It hit the wall and fluttered to the floor in a heap of black and white.

"This is bull shit!" he exploded. "This is absolute bull shit!" Dee's green eyes flashed with hurt and anger. All Ryo could do was sigh. Dee was right, it was bull shit and unfair, and they both knew that they, but mostly Dee, were about to be hung out to dry.

_**Police Ignore Murder Spree: Gay and Transgender community allege homophobia**_

"Dee, we've been working our asses off for this case. It's not us they're talking about," Ryo tried to placate. "In some ways, they're right. The NYPD as a whole _has_ been ignoring this and for exactly that reason. It's just what we were talking about yesterday."

"Get real Ryo! Yeah, sure, we're busting our humps on this, but the higher ups aren't just going to be like 'oh yeah, sorry about that, we really are homophobic pricks.' No! They're going to talk about sensitivity training, and that they've had two detectives working on this from word go… It's not the NYPD; it's those two queer detectives. It's the fault of those queer hating queers!" Dee jerked a cigarette out of the 'emergency' pack hidden in his desk and lit up inside. Fuck smoking ordinances. After a moment though he did open their tiny window and blew his smoke outside. Ryo ignored the flagrant violation of state law and Dee's caving to his addiction. Now was not the time. It also wasn't the time to ask Dee to stop bandying the word 'queer' about. Ryo was just starting to be able to say gay without stuttering, being called queer wasn't real comfortable.

"Okay, yeah, they're probably going to look innocent and point to us, but there is an evidence trail a mile long of us working this case, and trying to get the trans and gay community involved, we've doing everything but canvassing neighborhoods at random asking for help. Anyone with half a brain will know it's not our fault." Ryo tried again, watching the agitated hunch of Dee's shoulders. He expected Dee to put out the smoke at any moment then pop it in his mouth and start chewing.

"You know how it is, Ryo, some people just want to be offended. They're determined to be persecuted. It's like how you can arrest someone who is a minority, because they're snorting up right in front of you, covered in blood, and trying to hijack your cruiser… and they're going to start screaming racism and racial profiling! And then some community leader is going to go on the news and talk about us bastards at the NYPD, who were clearly targeting whoever because he was whatever, and really you could have been blind and deaf and known the guy was breaking the law!" Dee ranted, gesturing wildly, mostly out the window, with his cigarette.

"Dee… maybe you shouldn't be screaming about racial profile and waving out the window…" Ryo suggested with an amused smile, glad Dee wasn't facing him. Just in case the NYPD didn't already have a reputation, Dee ranting and raving out the window of the precinct was not going to help. He sighed softly, watching as Dee did finally put out his cigarette and close the window.

"You're right Dee, there's always going to be someone who can't accept that it's really just because they were in the wrong. At the same time, though, how many times do you get pulled over if you leave the city limits? And you're just a little dark. How often does Bikky get hassled by beat cops? It wouldn't work to scream racism, or homophobia, or whatever, if there weren't a reasonable amount of truth to it." Ryo sighed.

Dee was still leaning on the windowsill though, watching the street below, and Ryo stood, moving over next to him. Hesitantly, he rested his hand on Dee's back, just very lightly. When Dee didn't shrug his hand off, Ryo rubbed his back gently, trying to sooth him. He was very surprised Dee was allowing the touch. Dee rubbed his face, his shoulders rising and falling as he took a very deep breath.

"I know. I know, Ryo. It's just frustrating," Dee muttered

"It is, incredibly. So we need to be able to sit down at the meeting and make it clear to the "community leaders" we're meeting with what the real situation is." Ryo replied reasonably. He gave Dee's back a pat. "In fact, we're do in the conference room in about twenty minutes, so we better make sure we're looking sharp."

They had come into work that morning expecting everything to be same-as-usual. Instead Rose, looking both annoyed and smug at the same time, and Drake and Ted looking apologetic, had greeted them. Rose had thrown the newspaper at them and stalked out.

"That translates into: you have a meeting with community leaders and activists and your superiors in the conference room in an hour." Drake had said sheepishly.

Ryo was already fairly presentable, as he wore a suit coat to work almost every day. He almost always took it off and left if off most of the day, but you never knew when you'd need to look particularly professional. Dee kept one in the office, and a little help from Ryo's traveling iron, and a change of tie, and Dee was good to go. He wasn't as sharp as he could look, Ryo knew, as Dee looked particularly good in double-breasted and pinstripes. This suit coat was just black. He still looked good though. Besides double-breasted pinstripe suits were rather reminiscent of depression era gangsters, and maybe not the wisest choice.

"Ryo…" Dee took another deep breath and looked at his partner. He just watched the smaller man for a long time. There was something in his gaze that Ryo saw but didn't understand. Finally Dee just shook his head and smiled wanly. "Never mind."

"All right Dee," Ryo agreed, before reaching out and giving his hand a little squeeze. "It's going to be okay. We've finally got people sitting up and taking notice. We're going to get this guy."

Dee just nodded before turning away, heading for the door. Ryo was right behind him, picking up all their paperwork, a decent stack. Rose could try and hang them out to dry all that he wanted, but Ryo wasn't going to let that happen. It wasn't for his own sake, but for Dee's. Dee was literally losing sleep over this case, and Ryo would be damned if he let anyone tell Dee he wasn't doing his job. Because Dee would believe them.

A large oval table dominated the conference room. Dee and Ryo had gotten there almost ten minutes early, but when they arrived they saw that Rose, a couple of the Brass, and half a dozen men and women were already there. A hush fell over the room. Ryo felt his ears heat, and almost ran into Dee's back when Dee pulled up short. After a moment, when Dee regained his composure from whatever had startled him and continued to his seat, Ryo saw what had startled Dee so. Lyn was sitting at the table, looking incredibly apologetic.

How could Lyn be here?! Ryo was shocked as he sat down next to Dee, putting the case files on the table between them. Lyn was supposed to be their ally, why hadn't he warned them!

Introductions were made all around. Lyn was there, unsurprisingly, as the representative from G.O.A.L., the Gay Officers Action League. There was a man from District 202, a community center and shelter for gay youth, a women from Trans Americans Interest League (T.A.I.L.), a woman who Ryo mistook for a man from Radicalesbians, and two people (one male and one female) from Queers in Community. Introductions were made all around and Ryo made some quick notes to keep track of the alphabet soup.

" Detectives McLean and Laytner have been investigating what the media has dubbed the 'meathook murders' over the last few months. You can direct your questions to them," Rose told the various organizational representatives. Ryo wanted to sock his smug mouth. Rose had just thrown them to the wolves. The only thing worse would have been if this were a media conference. If they could manage to convince these people that they were doing their best and needed help, they might come out of this without their names being Mud.

Lyn threw them both another apologetic look, but neither Ryo nor Dee had time to think about it before they were bombarded with questions.

"Exactly how have you been 'investigating' this case?"

"Why hasn't the public been made more aware of this?"

"What is being done to protect the gay community?" 

"What is being done to protect the transgender community?"

Ryo felt like a deer in the headlights and gripped the arms of his chair more tightly. Dee took a breath thought and held up a hand.

"This isn't a press conference, as far as I know you have unlimited time to interrogate us, so how about one question at a time?" Dee said, his voice gruff. He sat forward in his chair. "I have been working on this case since the suspect's M.O. started showing up again a few months ago. Detective McLean and I also investigated several of the first murders, before he took a break, the suspect that is." Dee's eyes flicked to Ryo, as he had also 'taken a break' so to speak, but that was unrelated.

"I've clocked almost seventy hours every week since May, almost exclusively on this case, and an average of fifty hours a week every week since this pattern started to reemerge prior to May. Detective McLean has been putting in a similar number of hours."

It was Ryo's turn to glance at Dee, surprised to hear how many hours Dee was putting in, and also surprised that he'd implied Ryo had been doing the same. Ryo had been working his usual amount of hours, which was supposed to be forty, but was usually more like fifty. But not seventy. Dee didn't return the glance though, and continued speaking.

"I can't tell you why the public hasn't been made aware of this. I am not the one who handles the press. Only my superiors can answer that question. You may also want to ask your local journalists why they haven't chosen to cover the story. I've tried very hard to make people aware, but the gay community seems to feel that dead transgender hookers doesn't relate to them, and the transcommunity has, generally speaking, refused to help. Now," Dee held up his hand again, obviously having decided to go on the offensive. Ryo took some pleasure seeing Rose squirm in his seat, just a little, as Dee was so blatantly aggressive, and furthermore had shuffled at least some of the blame back into Rose's lap. "I'm more then willing to answer your questions to the best of my ability. Keep in mind what I've just said though."

There was a long moment of silence. The man from District 202 and the woman from T.A.I.L looked distinctly uncomfortable. Now it was Lyn who looked a little smug, as he had been doing contact work for Dee with most of the organizations represented at this table. The woman from Queers in Community was undeterred though.

"So what _have_ you been doing to protect the L.G.B.T.Q. community?" She demanded.

"Us personally? Well, we've been trying to catch this guy, just for starters. We've also been trying very hard to make some community contacts. For obvious reasons the group that's been targeted wants little to do with the NYPD. We've put out the word that we need help but…" Dee shrugged.

"He's right Lisa," Lyn finally spoke up. "I spoke to you personally on the issue. I also spoke to you, Veronica, and Gary. More then once." It was the leaders from T.A.I.L, Q.i.C. and District 202 that Lyn pinned with a cool gaze.

The conversation went round and round for about two hours. Dee' patience wore thin about half way through, and he sat back, letting Ryo take point in fielding the inquisition. It was rough two hours. Rose did his best to absolve himself and the department of all responsibility, while Dee and Ryo tried to make it clear they were doing everything they could, and a lot of what those present wanted addressed had little or nothing to do with them, with out playing the childish game of passing the buck back to Rose. Lyn took on a bit of a mediator role, but it was clear to Ryo that he was walking a very thin line between his friendship with Dee and Ryo and not wanting to alienate his side of the table. He was silent a lot more then either Dee or Ryo would have liked. When he spoke though it was generally in there defense, and usually quite eloquent. He was a lawyer after all.

At the end of two hours, they were much where they started. As Dee had predicted, most of those present seemed to want to bitch more then anything. Dee and Ryo both asked repeatedly for help from those present in making the contacts needed to try and help the population at greatest risk, but what the long-winded responses always boiled down to was 'we're not going to do your job for you'. There was also an underlying feeling from the two Q.I.C. representatives that this wasn't really their problem. Veronica from T.A.I.L. and Gary from District 202 both had a certain vested interest, but Gary was ill-equipped to help, and Veronica seemed more concerned that they catch the guy before he moved on to transfolk who weren't "just" hookers.

Rose promise to get more information to the public at large and agreed to heighten patrols in neighborhoods with a high number of trans streetwalkers 'as the budget allowed'. Dee and Ryo both knew that what that meant was that the beat cops would be asked to pay a little more attention in certain neighborhoods and maybe pass through more often, but no extra units would be deployed.

When Dee and Ryo filed out of the room with everyone else, both of them had headaches. Lyn followed Dee and Ryo at a bit of a distance back to their office and none of the three of them spoke until they got back to the office and the door was closed.

"Why the fuck didn't you warn us!" Dee shouted the moment the door was shut.

"I didn't know Dee! I swear I had no idea!" Lyn replied, holding up his hands in a gesture of harmlessness. "I would never have ambushed you like that!"

"Yeah well you didn't exactly speak in our defense either!'

Ryo's eyes flicked between the two of them. They were both angry and hurt. Ryo was too tense and tired to try and play mediator, and sat down at his desk, letting the two raven haired beauties go at it.

"First of all you didn't need me to, you and Ryo did just fine with out me. Second of all those are contacts and allies I need to keep, I can't just burn my bridges so I can prove my loyalty to you! Lastly, some of what they were critical of is the NYPD's fault and does need to be fixed! It's just not your and Ryo's fault." Lyn didn't shout, but there was a lot of vehemence in his voice, his hands fisted at his sides. Ryo wasn't sure where he fell in this argument; they were both right, to be honest. Lyn could no more do them any favors at the risk of his job then they would be able to do him favors if he broke the law.

"You could have warned us! You could have told those catty bitches to keep their panties on or to stop whining and get their hands a little dirty! You could have made sure before hand that they understood who there beef was with, which is not us!" Dee replied, also not quite shouting, but loud enough to be heard at least a bit out in the bullpen. Ryo could see Drake and Ted both staring through the window between their office and the pull pen. Ryo reached up and dropped the blinds.

"Can you blame them for having an issue with the NYPD?" Lyn retorted. "They just said all the things _you've_ been bitching about yourself for the last few months! Why's it different when they say it?"

"Because! They're directing it at me! Not at the jackasses who are really to blame! What the hell Lyn why are you giving me shit about this?" Dee growled, moving more into Lyn's personal space. It would have been almost amusing, as Dee was significantly shorter then Lyn, if Ryo weren't starting to worry about a brawl… or at least a catfight.

"Me?!" Lyn replied incredulously "You started it!" He didn't back away from Dee's invasion of his space, and Ryo sat up a bit, ready to jump between them.

"You're just pissy because you haven't gotten laid in a month!"

Ryo cringed, expecting Lyn to take very personal exception to that, as the reason Lyn hadn't been laid in a month is because Andrew's legs had been bothering him too much for them to be intimate.

"Listen yeh fooker," Lyn started in, his Irish accent making a rare and strong appearance. "If anyone's pissed because they've not been laid, tis yeh! Oh sure me bedsprings had some time off, but yeh've not gotten more then self abusin' in over a year! An' the last time yeh did, Ms. Priss o'er there who surrendered like the French an' moved less then a quadriplegic British woman!"

Silence fell over the office. Dee and Lyn stared at each other, wide eyed. Ryo was equally shocked to have been brought into to the argument, and wasn't sure which part he should be more offended about, being called French or British or being called frigid. If he were honest with himself, he couldn't really be offended… since it was a perfectly accurate statement.

"Hey! As a Japanese bottom, it is my _job_ to lay still while my oversexed seme paws me over! Besides, I was just doing exactly as my mother told me… lying still and thinking of the empire," Ryo deadpanned.

Lyn blinked, taking Ryo seriously for a second, before starting to laugh. He knew full well that those weren't Ryo's true sentiments. Not that Ryo was one to talk casually about sex, the conversation had come up between them a time or two, and that certainly hadn't been the desires Ryo had expressed!

Dee stood, wide eyed and unsure, even as Lyn started to laugh, having no idea what to make of Ryo's statement, or Lyn's for that matter, when Ryo grinned though, Dee relaxed also chuckling. Ryo sat back in his chair, quite satisfied with himself. Dee and Lyn were laughing instead of fighting, and he'd managed some decent self-depreciating humor.

As the laughter slowed, Dee and Lyn looked at each other again, and Dee offered his hand.

"I'm sorry, I know you have a job to do too," Dee said quietly. He wasn't really angry with Lyn after all, just the situation. Lyn had just been a continent target.

"It's alright, I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have let you rile me," Lyn replied, shaking Dee's hand, then pulling him into a back slapping hug. When they parted, they both looked at Ryo.

"If you were thinking of "the empire" I wasn't doing my job by half," Dee smirked, taking a seat at his desk, kicking out a spare chair for Lyn to fold his lanky frame onto.

"I assure you that what I said was patently untrue," Ryo replied dryly, taking a prim sip of his coffee that was stone cold. He hardly noticed though, being a cop meant a fair amount of cold coffee.

"As much as I'd love to listen to you two discuss your sex life of long ago and far away…" Lyn interrupted, smiling, as he settled into the chair. "I eventually have to get back to my own office. Is there anything I can do for you two? I'll talk to some of those folks again, they may change their tune."

"I don't suppose there is anyway you can get the media to take this seriously? Sensationalizing it won't help at all," Dee sighed deeply, swirling his chair from side to side with what remained from the stress energy he'd worked up over the last couple hours.

"I know a lot of people, Dee, but there's only so much I can do. Let me do some more string pulling. I can't help you with the media, but, well, I won't promise anything about anything. I'd rather have you be pleasantly surprised if I work something out, then disappointed if I don't," Lyn shrugged a little. He'd been grinding away at this problem for months now, just as Ryo and Dee had.

"All right, thanks Lyn, this is above and beyond, and we truly appreciate it," Ryo smiled, reaching over and giving Lyn's shoulder a squeeze. Lyn offered a small smile, as frustrated as his friends, before he stood.

"I must take my leave, gentlemen. Maybe we can all do dinner sometime soon though, now that you two seem to be able to occupy the same room somewhat comfortably." Lyn winked, but didn't give them a chance to respond, slipping out of their office like a draft of air.

Authors Notes: Thanks to everyone who is reviewing, keep it up! For the handful of you who feel the need to tell me you don't like Lyn and Andrew… I don't really care. I have also been made aware of the fact that Dee's birthday is actually September 27th and sushi (in an ironic twist) is actually his favorite food, according to a fact sheet Matoh released, that I had seen once upon a time but haven't been able to find since. My bad. Oh well, too late now. One last thing and I swear I'll shut up. I have a new blog, in addition to my fiction blog. This one is for other things… the link is on my profile; check it out if you get a chance. You all are great, thanks for reading!


	4. Free Falling

Disclaimer: Dee, Ryo, Bikky and Fake in general are not mine (yet! Muhahaha!) and I am not making any money from any of this (if I was do you think you'd be reading it on the net?). Lyn, Andrew, their girls, and other original characters ARE mine, and I do plan to one day make money from them, so no usey!

Ordinary Heroes

Chapter Four: Free Falling

Dee's face was utterly expressionless as looked at the body of their most recent victim. The victim, naked and impaled on the bent bar of a wrought-iron fence, was clearly male. It was also equally clear that he preferred to be a she. Under all that damage done to his (her?) body, Dee reflected, he would have been striking as either gender. Long, dark, hair the body of a dancer, her eyes were almost teal in color and frozen open in an eternal expression of fear and pain. Dee stared up at her, hands on hips, for a long moment.

"Dee?" Ryo cleared his throat, tapping Dee's shoulder lightly when he didn't respond. "Do you see something?" Ryo knew that Dee didn't see anything, other then the victim as a whole, but the uniforms at the scene were starting to shoot him weird looks out of the corner of their eyes. Dee either needed to start pretending to be detached or he needed to go back to the precinct.

Dee shook himself and looked at his partner. "Same M.O., as far as I can tell. Transgender, the right look, suspended by impalement and bled dry. I can't tell for sure if it's between the T-4 to T-6 vertebra until they get her down. Obvious signs of torture and violent sexual assault." Dee shrugged. "And enough evidence to convict the bastard if we could ever find him."

Ryo sighed and shook his head. "Yeah, well, at least it will be a slam dunk when we do get him. Come on, his clothes are over here." He led the way over to the small heap of clothes, torn and bloodied. There wasn't much there. Ryo crouched down, pointing with his pen. "Skirt, tank, the bra has really good prosthetics though, like the kind a woman with a mastectomy would have."

Dee snapped on his gloves, and whistled for the uniform with the camera. "Photograph this, would ya?" He called, waiting until the man came over and snapped pictures of how things laid before Dee marked the position of the bra on the ground and picked it up gingerly by one mutilated strap. The fake breasts were actually part of the cup of the bra, and heavy. Dee felt one as the uniform snickered.

"Most action you've gotten in a month, Laytner!"

"Go fuck your mother, Fredricks," Dee replied mildly, handing the bra to Ryo. "You're right. Well, the good news is, we should be able to identify her then. If she was a sex worker, she was a highly paid one. Those ain't cheap."

"Christ Laytner, I know you ain't bright, but you'd think you'd at least know the difference between a man and a woman," Fredricks snorted.

"What did I just tell you?" Dee said coldly, looking up at the uniformed officer.

"Damn your touchy, it's just a tranny hooker,"

"Dee," Ryo said warningly, trying to rein his partner in before this could get further. Fredricks was a jackass, but there was no point in doing anything but ignoring it. Ryo knew, though, that Dee was scraping the bottom of the barrel of his reserves of patience and energy. Fredricks was playing with matches during a drought.

Dee stood, carefully placing the article of clothing in an evidence bag, waiting, just waiting for Fredricks to step over the line. He was strung tighter then a bowstring, and he wanted nothing more then for Fredricks to give him an excuse to break his face. In addition, or maybe because of, the stress he'd been feeling over the last months, Dee knew he was sick. Very sick. His stomach hurt almost constantly, and sometimes it was all he could do not to double over in pain and he was throwing up blood. Not often, and not a lot, but it was happening, and with ever increasing frequency. He knew full well that anytime you started puking blood you should be taking yourself straight to the E.R. but he took a certain amount of perverse pleasure in having a very real and physical manifestation of what he was feeling emotionally. Further more, it wasn't like he was puking nothing but blood. There was just enough to be noticeable. Of course, the fact that he was throwing up at least once nearly every day was also a pretty damn good indicator something was wrong.

In addition to whatever the hell was wrong with his stomach, he'd had an almost constant headache for weeks now, and no matter how much he slept, he never felt rested. The last day he'd had off, he'd slept for eighteen hours and it hadn't mattered. He was exhausted, he was in pain, he was brittle with stress, and this stupid prick just kept pushing him, despite every verbal and nonverbal warning both Dee and Ryo were giving him. Dee couldn't wait for him to open his mouth one more time.

"Why are you so obsessed with this anyway? Do you pull second shift as hooker in a miniskirt?"

Dee didn't look up, even hearing the chuckles from the other uniforms, as he peeled off his gloves. Beside him, Ryo tensed nervously, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Dee…" Dee's calm may have fooled the other idiots here, but Ryo knew it for what it was. A moment of tense quiet before a lightening strike. He looked around for Ted or Drake. The longer this quiet lasted the more worried Ryo was about how bad Dee would snap. "Come on, lets go check with Drake," Ryo stepped in front of Dee, trying to catch his eye. When Dee continued to studiously remove his latex gloves, Ryo looked around again, almost frantic for Ted or Drake. Finally he managed to catch Drake's eye. Drake, despite appearances, was not a stupid man and had known Dee for close to ten years. Ryo saw that he took the situation in at a glance, and was able to connect the dots. He started towards them at a brisk jog. Dee's silence seemed to only egg Fredricks on. Whether it was because the other man was daring Dee to snap, or if it was because he was too stupid to realize that Dee's calm was not at all submissive.

"Really, we should thank this guy for cleaning out the gutters. This city's filthy enough alr—"

Ryo was fast and every ounce of his focus was on Dee. He saw when Dee's muscles bunched to strike, but with a speed and agility Ryo had never seen from his partner, Dee dodged around him before Ryo could even get his hands up to restrain him. By the time he'd turned around, Dee's fist had already connected with Fredrick's face. Dee didn't stop there, though; he followed Fredricks down like he would a perp he was trying to subdue.

"Dee!" Ryo shouted, diving into what was fast becoming a melee, trying to get a hold of Dee to pull him away, but two other uniforms had already converged on the fight. Instead of doing their jobs and stopping it, they retaliated. Ryo even took a punch to the face as he tried to pin Dee's arms and drag him back. Drake waded in, trying to shove away the other uniforms, whom in turn tried to beat Drake senseless as well.

Ryo was finally able to get a hold of his partner, who had managed to deliver two more blows to Fredricks, despite having had the two other uniformed officers trying to return the favor on behalf of their comrade. Drake managed to keep the two occupied enough that Ryo was finally able to jerk Dee back and off Fredricks, dragging him a few feet across the gravel of the industrial lot they were in as Dee fought against him like an alley cat.

Dee did manage to finally pull free of Ryo, but by the time Dee had scrambled to his feet, Ryo had his arms pinned behind his back, and Drake restrained him from the front.

"Dee let it go!" Drake shouted.

"Let me go! _Voy a romperme suyo cara de mierda!"_ Dee shouted back, lunging forward. Ryo grunted, holding Dee's arms even tighter.

"Come on, we're going Dee. Now. Drake and Ted can wrap this up." Ryo said as firmly as he could. It took both him and Drake dragging Dee most of the way back to the car for Dee to cool down enough for Ryo to let him go to walk on his own. Dee stormed to their unmarked and threw himself into the passenger seat, slamming the door so hard Ryo half expected it to fall off the car.

"Ryo," Drake said, "Get him back to the House, get him to cool down, then get him home. He's fucking off his rocker." Despite his words, Drake's tone was quiet and worried, as he glanced at Dee over Ryo's shoulder.

"He just needs to chill, he'll be fine," Ryo said, but sound unconvinced even to himself. He looked over at Fredricks, who had been restrained, finally, by his uniform buddies. Dee had done a number on his face.

"Listen, I know how things were with you two, but I've known him since we were rookies. He may be fine tomorrow, but you're not going to really get him calm today. He's going to explode every time someone breathes wrong. Besides, look at him, he looks like shit." Drake indicated Dee with his chin. Ryo turned and looked at his partner with a sigh.

"You're right. See what you can do to smooth this over, okay? If Rose lays into him over this…"

"Right. It's going to make d-day look like a beach romp," Drake nodded and slapped Ryo's shoulder bracingly. "Good luck. May The Force be with you," he smirked.

"Yeah yeah," Ryo muttered moving over to the unmarked, slipping behind the wheel. Dee's head was dropped back against the seat, his eyes closed. His normally olive skin was pallid and clammy looking. The tension in his neck and shoulders though, told Ryo that Dee wasn't anywhere near calm, he'd just pulled his rage back and focused it inward. That wasn't really better… but for the moment it was at least safer.

Dee had at least opened his eyes by the time they got back to the station, though neither man had said a word. Ryo parked and got out, watching Dee through the windshield as Dee made no move to get out. Ryo rounded the hood and opened his door with a sigh.

"Come on Dee, let's get inside."

By the time they got to their office Ryo was starting to be seriously concerned that the minute the door was closed, Dee was going to blow up at him, but that didn't happen. Dee sat down at his desk, stiff, silent, unyielding, and simply opened a case file. Ryo watched him a moment, then let him be, Drake might just have been right, Dee may have snapped completely.

There was no summons from Rose, so at least so far Drake was managing to do damage control. After about an hour of thick silence, Ryo finally got up and walked out, needing some water. When he came back, Dee wasn't there.

"Sheila, did you see where Laytner went?" Ryo called, sticking his head back out into the bullpen.

"Yeah, he's in the can," Sheila called back.

"Thanks!" Ryo returned to his desk, confident that Dee wasn't going to do anything crazy, besides there was only one way off their floor without setting off a fire alarm, and that was past Sheila. This was a precinct house after all, and semi-escape proof.

When Dee wasn't back after half and hour, though, Ryo was worried. Dee was not a half-an-hour-in-the-can kind of guy. Finally, Ryo left the office again, going back to the men's room/locker room. It was quiet. None of the showers were running, no one was changing; no one was at the urinals.

"Dee?" Ryo leaned down, looking under the stall doors. Dee didn't respond, but he was easy enough to find. It wasn't just his boots and jeans down around his ankles. Dee was sitting on the floor, leaning back against one wall, his knees pressed to the other. "Dee, what's wrong?" Ryo asked, straightening, moving over to that stall. Dee's answer came as a violent wretch.

"Dee!" Ryo gave the stall door a push. It was, of course, locked. Ryo might have waited and insisted Dee unlock it, once he was done throwing up… but it didn't sound like he was going to _ever_ stop throwing up. After the third or fourth wretch, Ryo gripped the stall door tightly in both hands and pushed as hard as he could. The lock, which barely worked in the first place, snapped free easily, and Ryo kept the door from swinging open and hitting Dee.

Dee had shifted positions into the standard worshiping-the-the porcelain position, his shoulders and back heaving as he wretched yet again. Ryo's own stomach turned at the sound, but there was almost no smell. Why that was became quickly apparent, though. Dee was throwing up nothing but blood.

"Fuck! Dee!" Ryo said, going from minor trouble mode to emergency mode in an instant. He crouched behind Dee, resting a hand on his back. He knew he should probably be calling for an ambulance, but Dee would kill him and probably flatly refuse medical treatment if he did that.

Finally, Dee stopped, hanging his head over the toilet and panting raggedly, every muscle twitching from the strain. Ryo eased his arms around Dee, helping him sit back once again. Dee lifted one very pale hand; his handkerchief clutched in it, and wiped the blood from his mouth.

"Dee, something's really wrong. Have you been doing this since you left the office?" Ryo asked him softly, smoothing Dee's hair away from his clammy face. Dee nodded weakly, his eyes closed.

"Okay, I won't call a bus. But we're going to the hospital. Now." Ryo said in his most no-nonsense voice. Dee shook his head.

"No, I'm fine. Just need to go home," he rasped. Ryo stared at him incredulously.

"Dee! You just threw up half a pint of blood! I don't know what's wrong, but that blood is fresh. You're bleeding, bad, it's just on the inside." Ryo glanced in the toilet making a face. That blood was definitely fresh, as opposed to blood that had been partially digested or sitting in his stomach a while.

"I'm fine," Dee insisted stubbornly, "I just—" he interrupted himself, as he leaned over the toilet and started throwing up again. Ryo knelt with him, not even sure what to do, other then offer some comfort. His worry compounded infinitely as more blood came up. When Dee finally stopped, Ryo took his chin in his hand firmly.

"Here are your two options. Either you let me take you to the hospital right this second, or I'm calling a goddamn ambulance. You can refuse all you want, but it's only a matter of time before you pass out, and when you do, they'll take you in anyway. But everyone in the damned building will see them carrying you out on a stretcher, and everyone in our department will be crammed in the door watching the scene you make until you do." Ryo growled.

"Well when you put it that way…" Dee rasped, allowing Ryo to help him to his feet. He almost passed out anyway, but Ryo slipped under his arm and helped support him until his vision cleared and he was able to make his shaky way over to a sink. Ryo kicked the flush on their way out, and helped Dee rinse out his mouth. He also commandeered a small wastebasket to use as a puke bucket.

Dee managed to pull it together enough to walk out of the bathroom, and out of the building for that matter, under his own power. His steps were slow and deliberate, but Ryo knew that Dee would fall down every stair on the way out rather then have anyone see him as weak enough to need help.

The trip to the E.R. was harrowing for Ryo. Dee threw up twice more, and with the bucket, Ryo was able to get a better idea exactly how heavily Dee was bleeding, and it was serious, especially if it had been happening for almost an hour now. Not to mention that the sounds were almost enough to make Ryo vomit himself. He managed to keep it down to the occasional sympathy gag though.

For once, service in the E.R. was fast. That meant that Dee's condition was pretty serious, as they whisked him off to triage almost the minute they walked in, carrying a bucket of blood. Ryo told the nurse everything he could about what had happened, how long it had been happening at what little he knew about things like what Dee had eaten that day. After that, all he could do was wait. He used the time to call back to the station and let Rose in on what was going on. All he had to do was hint that it might be a worker's comp issue, and Rose was very accommodating indeed.

Ryo waited and paced. He had told the nurse that he was Dee's partner on the force. Although technically not allowed to give information to anyone but family, the hospital staff generally bent the rules for NYPD and FDNY when one of their brothers (or sisters) was being treated. He hoped that would be the case this time, because he felt fairly confident that he was no longer listed as Dee's emergency contact or power of attorney. That was probably Mother Maria or Lyn and Andrew.

It was over an hour before a nurse called him over quietly. "Detective Mclean?"

Ryo was over to her in a moment. "How's my partner?" He asked without preamble. It was a nurse talking to him, not a doctor, which was probably good news.

"It's a good thing you brought him in. I've seen a lot of New York's Finest come through the E.R. here, and I know how you all are. You'll have six bullet holes in you and claim it's just a flesh wound," she smiled at Ryo, and Ryo relaxed a bit further. If she was teasing him, Dee was probably going to be fine.

"We're a tough breed," he winked. "And my partner's the toughest there is," and since Ryo had actually seen Dee with a gun shot wound bandage himself up with a bandana and insist he was just fine, he was fairly confident that Dee really was one of the toughest damned cops in the city. Also the most pigheaded, stubborn and all together unreasonable, but that was beside the point.

"Well, the tough guy needs bed rest for at least a week. He has a severe ulcer in the upper tract of his stomach. We've given him a blood transfusion and the doctor is performing an endoscopy as we speak. That should get the bleeding to stop. I don't know if they'll want to keep him over night. Judging by how he looks and what symptoms he was willing to admit to, he's probably severely anemic as well. We're sending the blood in right now," the nurse gave him all this information politely and professionally, though with a little half smile that Ryo recognized all too well. Dee had yet another admirer ready to throw herself at his feet.

"Oh man," Ryo groaned, "damn it, I should have seen this. He's looked terrible for ages now, but he is just so damned stubborn. Can I see him? I know the doctor's working on him but… I don't think he's going to handle that endoscopy well." That was an understatement. Ryo reflected that the nurse must have left before the doctor had started the procedure. Dee couldn't stand even routine procedures that were semi-invasive. He hadn't gone to the dentist since he was ten, he had to be utterly unable to swallow before he'd submit to a strep throat swab, and it wasn't just his mouth. He didn't tolerate anything in any orifice. Having a tube shoved in his mouth, down his throat, all the way to his stomach… he'd have to have five orderlies holding him down.

"Don't worry, he's moderately sedated, he won't even know it's happening," she smiled reassuringly. Ryo let out a breath.

"Oh good, thank you, I'm sure he'll still be pissed as hell when he comes around, but… well, thank you," but at least Dee wouldn't be any further off his rocker than he had been to start.

"Of course. It will probably be about another hour before you'll be able to see him, I'll come get you when he's been settled, alright?"

"Yes, okay, thank you again," Ryo sighed, offering the nurse a small smile. He went over to a row of plastic chairs and half collapsed into one. The diagnosis was unsurprising considering how much stress Dee was under, and how poorly he was handling it. He felt terrible for not paying more attention sooner, though. Dee had been pale for over a week now, his appetite shot, exhausted, drawn, yes he should have seen it sooner. It was too late for 'should haves' though, and at least Dee was getting fixed up now.

Ryo waited, far more patience now that he knew Dee was more or less okay, for another hour, until the nurse came back out, signaling him with a look and a small smile. Ryo got up immediately, following her down the hall.

"How is he?"

"We have him in recovery. The doctor is going to observe him for a couple hours. He's still coming around, but having a familiar face and voice will help make the process less traumatic," the nurse told him as they walked.

"Good, thank you," Ryo said, wondering how Dee was tolerating the sedation. Ryo had had surgery on his knee, way back before his parents had died, and he remembered how he'd felt coming around afterwards, sick to his stomach, disoriented, it had been terrible. Of course Dee hadn't been that heavily sedated, but Ryo was glad they were letting him be with Dee. Dee got so weird about some things, and Ryo was willing to bet this would be one of those things.

The nurse showed him to a curtained off area, and Ryo slipped in quietly. Dee still looked terrible. He had more then one IV, the first of which was more blood; another was fluids and probably medication to counteract the sedation. There was also an oxygen mask over Dee's face. His brow was deeply furrowed and his hands and fingers twitching and moving, already fighting his way towards wakefulness.

Ryo didn't hesitate, moving over to sit on the edge of Dee's bed, taking his hand. "Dee?"

"Breath deeply, Mr. Laytner, this is oxygen, it will help clear your head," The nurse said in a slow, loud voice, as though speaking to a small and rather stupid child. After that though, she left them in peace, as Dee started to come to.

"Dee, it's okay, you're going to be alright," Ryo said softly, patting his hand. Dee's head lolled a bit and his frown deepened as he took very deep breaths of the oxygen. He was fighting his way back to consciousness as fast as he could, flashes of emerald showing as he'd manage to force his eyes open only to have them fall shut again a moment later. "Relax, bud, you're fine, take your time," Ryo said softly. "It's just you and me."

Dee groaned softly, his head turning to the other side now. He was really restless. Ryo smoothed his dark hair back from his face, making soothing sounds. He absolutely ached to hold his partner, wanting to do more to comfort him. It was hard to see someone you loved so obviously sick, so very vulnerable. Especially when that someone was as tough as Dee.

"Shhhh, it's okay Dee, you're okay," Ryo repeated. Dee's hand flailed up and he tried to paw the oxygen mask off his face. Ryo gently eased the elastic band from around his head, placing the mask back in Dee's hand, then bringing it back to his face. "Keep that there, sweetheart, it will help."

Dee obeyed, seeming to accept using it as long as he had control over it. Finally his eyes opened and stayed open, staring at Ryo glassily. He licked his lips, and then lifted the oxygen mask off his face again.

"Wha…?"

"You're pretty sick, Dee," Ryo said softly, caressing his cheek. "The doctor says you have an ulcer, and are anemic because of that. That's why you've felt like shit."

A look of understanding and recollection sharpened Dee's gaze. He was becoming more alert by the minute. He nodded a little. "Right," a deep frown bowed his lips, an experimental hand touching his stomach. "What did they do?"

"Does it hurt? It shouldn't—" It was Ryo's turn to frown. "They did an endoscopy, a camera at the end of a long tube, the doctor told you this before he put you under didn't he?"

"Yes," Dee stopped there, closing his eyes again, gathering his wits. Ryo waited patiently. "Did they have to cauterize?"

"Yeah, I think they did," Ryo nodded. Dee shuddered and Ryo couldn't blame him. The thought of burning close the lining of your stomach sounded painful and revolting. There wasn't much in the way of nerve endings in the stomach though, and no matter how bad it sounded, Dee shouldn't be hurting.

"Urgh," Dee shuddered again.

"Well, that's what you get for not being smart enough to go to the doctor before you were puking blood like pea soup. You've had to have felt terrible for ages, Dee, why did you let it get this bad?" Ryo asked, giving Dee's hand a squeeze.

"Hate doctors," Dee shrugged.

"Yeah, well I hate stubborn jerks who don't go to their doctors in a timely fashion," Ryo retorted, then sighed. "They want to observe you for a couple hours, make sure it's all kosher, then they'll discharge you. You're coming back to my place, and I won't hear a word about it. For one thing, you're going to be as high as a kite for the rest of today, and longer if they give you pain meds. For another, you need to sleep, and I'm sure they're going to want you to only eat certain foods for a day or two. I don't trust you to take care of yourself like that." Ryo said firmly, snagging Dee's gaze and pinning him with a look.

"Ryo—"

"Don't "Ryo" me. That's what's going to happen. Since I'm your damned ride, and I had to listen to you vomit up your damned toe nails you're going to damned listen to me!"

Dee looked at Ryo for a long moment, and Ryo could tell he was seriously considering arguing with him. "If the next words out of your damn mouth are anything but "yes Ryo", you're going to be wearing your ass for a hat. Do you understand me?"

Finally, meekly, Dee lowered his gaze. "Yes, Ryo," he mumbled, clearly not happy. Ryo didn't care if Dee was happy or not. He cared about whether Dee was safe and healing. He was also a believer in positive reinforcement, so he smiled warmly at Dee once the accent was given, leaning down and kissing his forehead.

"Good, now just rest, sweetheart, I'm looking out for you,"

Dee watched him for a long moment, before slowly closing his eyes again. Ryo sighed softly to himself, still holding Dee's hand, caressing the back of it tenderly. They needed to get this case solved, get _them_ solved. Ryo wasn't shameless enough to take advantage of Dee during his convalescence, but he was very glad that he and Dee would be under the same roof again, for a few days at least.

Authors note: This took me a ridiculously long time to write. Most of you probably don't know this, but generally what happens when I write a chapter, is that I sit down and write the whole thing in one sitting. This chapter, I've been hacking away at for weeks, and to be honest, I'm still not 100 on it. I hope you enjoyed it though. Don't worry, it's not going to become a hurt/comfort thing, but Dee had to reach some kind of breaking point with the stress he was under. Thanks to all of you who keep leaving me reviews.


	5. Rockabye Baby

Disclaimer: Dee, Ryo, Bikky and Fake in general are not mine (yet! Muhahaha!) and I am not making any money from any of this (if I was do you think you'd be reading it on the net?). Lyn, Andrew, their girls, and other original characters ARE mine, and I do plan to one day make money from them, so no usey!

Ordinary Heroes

Chapter Five: Rockabye Baby

By: Irish

"Dee, lay down!" Ryo commanded, pointing insistently at the bed. Dee stood in the middle of the room, hunched over, arms around his stomach, which was clearly still bothering him, despite the sedation, medication, and cauterization. Ryo had managed to get Dee into his apartment, and changed into the flannel pants and undershirt Ryo had snagged during a brief stop at Dee's apartment. He was balking like a stubborn mule now, though, as Ryo tried to get him to lie down in Ryo's bed.

"I'm not sleeping in your bed," Dee replied, looking more like a sulking child than anything.

"Damn it, Dee, don't make me make you. Because I will. You're not sleeping on the couch. Bikky will be home, and you won't get a lick of sleep. I'm not sure I can even get the door to Bikky's room open with the mess that's in there right now, so you're just going to sleep in my bed," Ryo pointed at his bed again, as if by making a more insistent gesture he could make Dee do what he wanted.

"No,"

"Oh my god!" Ryo threw his hands up into the air. Bikky at his worst wasn't this bad. He turned away, hands on his hips and took a deep breath, gnawing at his lip. After counting backwards from twenty, Ryo turned back to Dee. "Dee, come on, you're being unreasonable," the smaller detective tried a more cajoling tone of voice this time, stepping close.

"So?" Dee replied, voice sullen.

"So, stop it. I know, I know you're not feeling well," Ryo soothed, reaching out and running his hands over Dee's shoulders and down his arms. "Miserable, in fact. I know you hate that this situation is out of your control, but you know what, defying me isn't going to change that," He grasped Dee's hands gently, slowly drawing him over to the bed. He had Dee's attention at least, as Dee was watching him from behind the fall of his hair.

"I'll sit with you until you fall asleep, hmm? I'll even wait to leave until Bikky's back from school, then he can come and do his homework in here, you won't be alone," Ryo tried, turning when he felt the mattress against the back of his legs, maneuvering Dee into position.

"What if I don't want you lingering, and that's the problem?" Dee retorted.

"Well, than I'll leave, simple as that," Ryo smiled a little. "Listen, Dee, I know I don't know you as well as I should… but I think I know that about you. Besides you stopped hating me, and I think you like having me around, at least a little," he smiled again, especially when Dee didn't immediately deny that. Ryo flicked the covers back, and gently urged Dee to sit, pressing on his shoulders. Finally Dee relented. He tried to sit down carefully, but mostly just unhinged at the knees and hit the mattress with a grunt and a wince.

"Still hurts, huh?" Ryo smoothed Dee's hair out of his face.

"Only when I move," he sighed. When Ryo held up the covers, he swung his feet under and lay back on the familiar mattress, the scent of Ryo surrounding him as the other man draped the covers over him.

"I bet," Ryo slipped off his shoes, "Lift your head a moment,"

When Dee complied, Ryo sat on the bed himself; scooting back until his back was against the wall, his legs stretched out across the bed width-wise. He put a pillow on his lap, and patted it invitingly. Dee watched him, his eyes a little leery, but after a moment, he scooted close and turned over on his side, laying his head on Ryo's lap.

"There we go," Ryo murmured, rubbing Dee's back. "Just close your eyes. I've got you,"

Dee spoke so softly Ryo wasn't sure he heard him, but it sounded like he said, "I know you do,"

– O – O – O – O – O –

Ryo wasn't surprised that he'd fallen asleep. He and Dee hadn't sat like this too often, usually their positions were reversed, Ryo's head in Dee's lap, but every time they'd ever ended up like this, they'd both fallen asleep. Also as per usual, Ryo's legs were utterly asleep. He sighed softly, checking the time. It was late afternoon, Bikky wasn't home yet, but Ryo supposed he had basketball practice. He'd wanted to go back in to work today, really, he should whether he wanted to or not, but it was okay. The precinct wouldn't be swallowed by the earth if he were away for half a day. Dee needed him. Speaking of Dee…

"It's okay, don't wake up, I just need to move a little," Ryo whispered, sliding his hands under the pillow and Dee's head. Dee was the lightest sleeper in the universe. Ryo wasn't sure how he'd ever managed to sneak out their first morning after. Since that morning, he'd never been able to get out of bed without waking Dee… Ryo frown, pausing mid movement. Was the reason that Dee was so alert when he slept was because of what had happened that morning? That he'd snuck out, and then Dee had found himself back at square one?

Ryo shook his head to himself. That was ridicules. Self absorbed even, considering what Dee's life had been like, to think that it was him that caused such a learned habit. He carefully lifted Dee's head and shifted around a bit, before settling Dee's head on his legs, which were now in a different position. Maybe, though, Ryo reflected, him getting out of bed had been added to the list of things that brought Dee out of a dead sleep to perfect wakefulness after that morning. Now, though, Dee didn't wake from the shift, which probably meant he was drugged into oblivion.

Ryo sighed softly; Dee's back was to him so he couldn't see Dee's sleeping face. His poor love, never seemed to catch a break. "Maybe you could be my house husband, hmm?" Ryo whispered with a small smile, stroking Dee's black hair. "Stay home and raise the babies that we adopt from some foreign country, meet with Bikky's teachers whenever he's in I.S.S.?" He chuckled. He could actually see Dee doing that, the stay-at-home dad thing. Not that tending house and children was an easy job, but it was different. Dee would never give up being a cop though. "Oh well, it was a thought,"

Eventually, Ryo reached for his most recent book that resided on the nightstand, reading quietly, waiting for either Dee to wake or Bikky to come home, or nature to call. Or all three at once, for that matter. It wasn't nature that called, but after about ten pages, Ryo's cell phone started to vibrate in his pocket. Dee did stir, even made a little sleepy sound, during Ryo's scramble to get his phone out of his pocket. The number on the caller ID gave him a number, but no name. Frowning, Ryo flipped it open.

"Detective McLean speaking," he said quietly.

"Detective McLean," the voice sounded vaguely familiar, and the man's tone was warm, as if he recognized Ryo's voice immediately, even though Ryo hadn't the foggiest who was calling him. He had just a moment of paranoid anxiety, before the voice continued. "I don't know if you remember me, this is Sascha, Sascha Nikalovich. You and I haven't spoken much, but you know my lover, Sean Lundgren, over at the 52nd?"

"Sascha?! Oh, wow, I'm sorry, I didn't recognize your voice! Of course I remember you, and Sean, I'm glad to hear from you, how are you doing?" Ryo relaxed, able to place Sascha's voice now, and understanding how Sascha had recognized Ryo's voice immediately. He was also very sincerely glad to hear from him.

"Not too bad. I'm still not really back at work. I've been going half days, but, my sub still does everything, I just sit there and look pretty, it's more for the kids' peace of mind than anything," Sascha chuckled lightly. He had a very nice laugh, and Ryo was glad to hear it. Sascha hadn't been able to manage more than a hoarse whisper the last time Ryo had spoken to him. He was a schoolteacher, Ryo recalled, at a charter school.

"I'm sure they're thrilled to see you, though. And it's better not to over extend yourself. How's Sean?" Ryo asked.

"Good, more or less… He was never exactly in the closet at work, but he wasn't out either. Well, he is now. It hasn't been easy. But it could be a lot worse. When you're six foot five and almost two hundred pounds, people don't antagonize you." The wan smile in Sascha's voice was audible.

"No, I bet they don't," Ryo chuckled, but it was a bit weak. It was all well and good for Officer Lundgren to wear his rainbows with pride, but Ryo was seven inches shorter and fifty pounds lighter, and already considered a bit fey. "I'm glad it's not too hard for him, though, you've got yourself a winner there."

"You don't need to tell me twice," Sascha's easy laugh was softer this time. "He puts up with a lot on my account…" he trailed off an paused a moment, then cleared his throat. "Sorry, I usually am better at keeping my chin up. Anyway. The reason I'm calling. I had lunch with Sean today. That uniform your partner introduced his knuckles to is from Sean's precinct. He was pretty upset, Sean, not Fredricks, well, him too, but for very different reasons. I digress. Ryo, you're going to think this sounds insane, but I think it was you serial murderer who attacked me. Sean agrees."

Ryo was stunned silent for a moment, before he finally managed to clear his throat. "Sascha, I know it's hard to be the victim of random violence, but—"

"But I'm not a prostitute, or transgender. I realize. But Sean said the bulletin he got cited cases from last year that weren't prostitutes, or transgender. Ryo, I get mistaken from behind for a woman on a regular bases, despite my height. It's the hair." Sascha did have amazingly gorgeous hair that fell at least to his waist, and a whipcord lean body. Ryo nodded slowly to himself, acknowledging that in the dark from behind, Sascha might look like a woman.

"Okay but no one else has ever survived, the murder is kind of part of his M.O." Ryo replied shaking his head.

"I fought back. Way harder and more effectively than I bet any of your victims did. I'm a black belt in tae Kwan do, kendo, and judo. I…" Sascha sighed heavily. "I almost got away, twice, but I was so disoriented in that alley, I couldn't find which way was out. He was able to recover before I could sort it out, both times. And, I wasn't willing to kill him, and he didn't care if he killed me. So he had the upper hand."

"Oh Sascha, I'm sorry," Ryo bit his lip, his heart going out to the other man. Sascha had neglected to mention, when giving his statement, that he'd come close to escaping. Ryo didn't blame him, in Sascha's shoes; he would feel pathetic and humiliated. One black belt was supposed to be enough to get you out of almost any physical confrontation. Sascha had probably never used his skills outside of the semi-controlled environment of a dojo, and escape had never been in the equation. Ryo could just imagine how terrible if felt to have your face rubbed in your disability like that.

"Don't be. It happened, it's over. But I really think it was your guy, Ryo. He… he liked it, when I cried out, when it hurt…" Sascha trailed off again. Ryo could remember Sascha's injuries, able to picture the bandages, patches of white over skin that was purple and green, almost black in places, with bruising.

"Okay, Sascha," Ryo sighed. "You've convinced me to at least consider it. I'll reopen your file tomorrow; I'm not at work right now, and look at it from that angle. We're no closer to catching that guy, though, either."

"I know. It's not for my sake, I've made as much peace with what happened as I'm going to for the moment, until I'm back to myself, and that may not be for months. It's for you, and those girls… guys… people, who are being murdered. There's other things… things I couldn't bring myself to say, especially not in front of Sean, not when there wasn't a snowballs chance that'd we'd catch my attacker. You're gonna catch this guy though, I know you will, and it's more then worth it for that." Sascha's voice had wavered a little, and Ryo wondered whatever Sascha would have to tell him, he'd been very detailed in his first statements. But then again, everything Sascha had said made it look like a queer bashing; judging by the way he was wording things, what he'd held back had been sexual in nature. Which would make it more likely to be their Meathook Murderer.

"Alright, I promise I'll look into it. If that's the case though… you may want to leave town for a while. You'll have been the one that got away. You'll have his attention." Ryo looked down at his own raven-haired beauty, caressing him tenderly. Thank god the only thing about Dee that fit the victim profile was his hair and maybe his eyes. His build was way too masculine, he didn't have an air of vulnerability about him, and he wasn't an 'at risk' population.

"The only family I have out of town is over seas, and I'm not leaving the country. Don't worry; I don't get out much these days. Thank you, Ryo. We really appreciate that you've taken on my case personally. I was very very lucky to be found at all, let alone by someone so understanding. Thank you."

"Think nothing of it. All cops should be understanding, I realize that few are, but that's still no reason to thank me for essentially doing my job. Rest up Sascha. Heal. And don't hesitated for a moment to call me for any reason, okay?" Ryo meant that. Sean was easy going and gregarious now that Sascha was on the mend, and Sascha had a nimble mind and a strong sense of humor and self.

"I won't, have a good day, detective,"

Ryo hung up after he heard Sascha's line click off. That was a truly disturbing thought. What if Sascha really was a sole survivor? Something else was tickling at the back of Ryo's mind, but he couldn't quite grasp what it was and finally let it go. It would come to him in time.

– O – O – O – O – O –

"Hey Bikster," Ryo called softly from the kitchen with the door opened. "Be quiet, Dee's sleeping," Ryo was currently staring into the fridge, trying to decide what he should make for dinner to fulfill the doctor's nutrition suggestions.

"What's he sleeping here for?" Bikky frowned, coming into the kitchen, school bag over one shoulder. "Is he hurt?"

"Kind of. He's sick. It's not too serious, but he really feels miserable," Ryo shut the fridge and went over to his son, giving him a one armed hug. "How was school?"

"Sucky. It's school. What's he sick with?" Bikky sounded concerned. Ryo wished Dee could hear him right now. There was no way he could ever doubt that Bikky loved him hearing the boy's concern for him right now.

"Well, he had a bad ulcer that he ignored for a long time. So he was bleeding inside and because of that, he doesn't have enough iron and stuff in his blood. His stomach hurts, but the anemia is what I think is really making him miserable." Ryo tried to sound matter-of-fact. It was best not to lie to Bikky. The boy could smell a lie, and would assume the worse.

"That douche! I told him a million times to go do the doctor!" Bikky growled, slapping his palm against his forehead. "What a douche!"

"Okay, can we find a new word?" Ryo suggested. He couldn't control Bikky's language, and had stopped a long time ago. Of all the issues Bikky had, swearing was at the bottom of the priority list. They were just words, after all. He seemed to be growing out of it a bit, though, and sometimes a little reminder was enough for Bikky to try and be a little less vulgar.

"Fuckwad? Assface? Dickweed?" Bikky retorted angrily.

"Lets go with assface," Ryo sighed. "Well, it's time for the assface to take some medicine, would you like to do the honors? Be nice though, he really feels awful, okay?"

"Stupid assface, serves him right… fine, fine, I'll be nice." Bikky sighed. He put down his book bag and took of his sneakers.

Ryo watched as Bikky crept into the dimly lit bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed, next to a sleeping Dee, with an almost exaggerated care. He was frowning deeply with concern, as he looked Dee over. Ryo was sure that even Bikky would see how incredibly pale Dee was, and the dark circles under his eyes.

Dee stirred when the mattress shifted, but the vicodine must have been doing its job, because he seemed to have to struggle to wake. Bikky rubbed his back in slow circles.

"Dee," the boy said softly. "Dee, Ryo says you need to wake up and take more medicine."

"Nah, I'm good," Dee mumbled, hiding his face more in the crook of his arm.

"No, you have to wake up, just for a little bit."

Bikky was starting to sound sincerely distressed at how fuzzy Dee was, and Ryo started to step in and intervene before Bikky got too worked up. It hadn't occurred to him that Bikky would be that worried.

"Okay, okay, I'm waking up, see?" Dee seemed to have caught the note of distress too, because he managed to lift his head and open his eyes, smiling at Bikky. Bikky looked at Dee, chewing his lip a bit, then nodded.

"Okay,"

Ryo retreated a bit again, not wanting to interrupt if he didn't have to. It was so sweet to see them together.

"Are these what you're supposed to take?" Bikky asked, picking up one of three prescription bottles on the bedside table.

"Pro'lly," Dee slurred, pushing himself up on one elbow a bit. "What's the label say?"

"Vick-o-dine…" Bikky sounded it out.

"Vicodin, and yes. Pro'lly the other ones too," Dee sighed, squinting a bit in the poor light. Ryo was sure that between the drugs, the exhaustion and the anemia, Dee probably couldn't have managed to get past the 'a' at the top of the eye chart at the moment.

"Ranitidine and Iron supplement. The vicodin says every four to six hours. The other two say twice a day. Have you taken them twice already?" Bikky asked, using his most adult tone.

"Nah, just once. And just give me half of a vicodin."

"It says one to two pills," Bikky argued.

"Yes but I don't need that many."

"The bottle says you do."

"Well I don't."

"How many do you think Ryo will tell you to take?" Bikky retorted, actually bringing a hand to his hip. "Because I bet he'll make you take two." Bikky didn't wait for Dee to argue more, opening each of the bottles and carefully shaking out one pill each. Thirteen might be a little young to be handling controlled substances, but Ryo was watching closely, and Dee was too. Bikky handed the pills to Dee then handed him a glass of water from the bedside table. When Dee lifted his head a bit more, Bikky slid an arm under his shoulders, as if to help Dee sit up. Ryo couldn't imagine the boy was actually strong enough to do any good, but Dee humored him and sat up a little more before throwing back the pills and washing them down.

"Open your mouth," Bikky ordered when Dee had lain back down.

"Bikky, I didn't hide the pills under my tongue." Dee said, exasperated.

"Open your mouth," Bikky repeated. Ryo stifled a giggle as Dee opened his mouth and showed Bikky he had indeed swallowed the pills. Bikky was apparently an old pro at this! "Good," Bikky nodded, satisfied. He arranged Dee's pillows a bit and pulled the blankets up a bit more. Ryo had never been so glad that his cell phone had camera, as the next moment Bikky smoothed Dee's hair back from his face, then leaned down and pressed his cheek against Dee's forehead, as if checking for a temperature. Ryo whipped out his cell phone and snapped a photo of the two of them.

"Hey, tiger, I'm okay, really," Dee reached up caressing Bikky's hair.

"Yeah, I know," Bikky sat up, trying to sound tough. "Go back to sleep, okay?"

"Sure thing, tiger, I couldn't stay awake if I wanted to." Dee smiled a little and patted Bikky's cheek. "Thanks for taking care of me."

"Only because you're too damned stupid to do it yourself," Bikky said gruffly. "Now shut up and sleep already." After a moment, he muttered "Assface," just for good measure.

"Love you, tiger," Dee whispered with a small smile.

Ryo couldn't help the stupid, sappy, grin on his face. Dee and Bikky seemed to have really bonded since he and Dee had broken up. It was enough to melt just about any one's heart. The two oh-so-tough street thugs being all sweet and gentle. It seemed like something Norman Rockwell should have painted.

"Yeah yeah," Bikky grumbled. He sat quietly with Dee for a few minutes, rubbing his back again, until Dee seemed asleep. Ryo slipped back into the kitchen, quietly as he could as Bikky stood up again, but still heard him whisper:

"I love you too, Assface."

Author's Note: Hello everyone. Yes I'm still here, yes I'm still writing. It's been a bit hard on my ego, as I was rejected from ever MFA program I applied to – sigh- oh well, such is life. I plan to finish my MS in women's studies and give the MFA thing another go next year. I've learned my lesson and won't send out fiction fantasy this time. Now, about this chapter: For those of you who don't remember, Sascha is blind. Additionally, I will admit some things don't jive between the original chapter I wrote about Sascha being attacked in Delicate and this chapter. I hadn't planned this at the time. Sascha was meant to just be a plot device, but then I came up with further use for him, so just pretend that the contradictions aren't there. I did touch up the original Sascha chapter (Be and Be Not Afraid) in Delicate to make it not-so-bad, but it's still a little bit of a disconnect. I'm afraid you'll just have to cope Last but not least: I am trying to get a FAKE based rp started on livejournal. I'd love for all of your to join. Ryo already has a player, and I'll be playing Dee, but there are lots of other characters, and originals are very welcome. Please come check us out. I assure you once we get more than just Dee and Ryo on the board, things will be hopping! http : / community . livejournal . com / ordinaryheroes (you'll need to remove the spaces. There's also a link on my author page) Oh, one last thing, I swear! The title is from the song "Rockabye" by Ani Difranco. Keep an eye on my blog for an Ordinary Heroes soundtrack on itunes.


	6. Alright For Now

Disclaimer: Dee, Ryo, Bikky and Fake in general are not mine (yet! Muhahaha!) and I am not making any money from any of this (if I was do you think you'd be reading it on the net?). Lyn, Andrew, their girls, and other original characters ARE mine, and I do plan to one day make money from them, so no usey!

Ordinary Heroes

Chapter Six: Alright For Now

By: Irish

"Whaaat?" Dee groaned into his phone. "This better be good, I'm busy."

"Busy?" Ryo laughed. "Busy doing what? Wait let me guess… watching Jay and Silent Bob or jacking off."

"If I were jacking off would I tell you?" Dee snorted. "Nah bro, I dunno what I'm watching, Pokemon… Dragon Ball Z… Sailor Moon. I dunno, anime. It was that or Hannah Montana."

"Yes, you would tell me," Ryo said. He reflected, though, that these days Dee might not. There would have been a time that Dee would have said he was masturbating just to get under Ryo's skin. Ryo shook his head a little, trying to clear away the very erotic mental image of Dee touching himself. "So, I take it you're not actually busy."

"Not even a little," Dee sighed.

"Can I come over? I want to run some case stuff by you."

"Oh please, for the love of God, anything! If I wasn't so fucking high, I'd be climbing the walls." Dee was speaking a bit slowly.

"So you're still taking your meds? Good. Okay, I'm on my way then. Have you eaten? I'll pick something up." Ryo smiled to himself, relieved that Dee was at least doing lip service to the doctors orders.

"Nah bro, I don't think I've eaten all day. Shit you still got a key?"

Ryo was quickly rethinking whether or not he should actually try and review anything with Dee right now. He was obviously flying on his pain medication. Dee tended to swear, but usually it wasn't just interspersed in every day banalities and 'bro' was reserved for Drake or a few others Dee went way back with.

"No, I don't. You're going to have to get up long enough to unlock the door. Are you in your head enough to talk shop?" Ryo asked, holding his cell phone between his ear and shoulder as he fished in his pockets for his subway pass.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I'm going to move around a little bit, go out on the fire escape and get some air. I'm still not seeing straight though, so don't ask me to read nothin." There was some rustling in the background as Dee assumable got up off the couch.

"Okay, if you're sure… I'd come over anyway, you know," Ryo said softly.

"I said I'll be fine. The door will be unlocked."

And with that, Dee was gone, having hung up. Ryo sighed and rolled his eyes, flipping his phone shut. Dee hadn't been willing to stay at Ryo's more than forty-eight hours. Long enough that he was mostly self-sufficient. He should be on his last day of pain medication, Ryo thought. He rather suspected the doctor had prescribed them just to get Dee to rest. Apparently despite the other medication he was taking to help with the ulcer itself, the pain was still enough that Dee was willing to take them.

Ryo stopped at a deli near Dee's getting them both some soup and sandwiches, aiming for something that would be fairly easy on the stomach. By the time he got to Dee's neighborhood, got the food, and got up to Dee's apartment, it had been almost an hour. Ryo really hoped that Dee had unlocked his door when he'd first gotten up while still on the phone. If he'd nodded off while waiting, Ryo wasn't sure him knocking would get his partner up.

Balancing the box of case files and sack of food on one hip, he tried the door and found that it was in fact unlocked.

"Dee?" Ryo called as he came in, setting down his armload. "Where are you ba-" Ryo flinched, almost calling Dee 'baby'.

"Here," Dee called, his hand popping up in the air, visible over the back of the couch. He must have been sitting on the floor, Ryo realized, hidden by his furniture.

"Great. You hungry? I just got soup and sandwiches. I'm fairly convinced you're not allowed to eat anything. I mean even chicken soup has fat in it. That's what you got by the way, chicken soup. There's no mayo or cheese on sandwich, though." Ryo rounded the end of the couch, setting the bag of food down on the coffee table and dropping onto the floor next to Dee. He set aside the box of case files, which could wait a few.

"I'm not really hungry," Dee admitted, "But I agree. The list of what I'm not suppose to eat leaves me with dry toast and boiled chicken. Food doesn't seem to make a difference one way or the other, though, at least it didn't. It hurt the same. If there isn't mayo or cheese on my sandwich, what is there? Since most deli meat is full of salt at the very least."

"Yeah, it was a little tricky," Ryo admitted. "Mustard is also out, so I had to get creative. It's turkey with a bunch of veggies. Take a bite before I tell you the rest though." Ryo insisted, not wanting Dee to get stubborn on him.

The dark haired detective raised an eyebrow as he unwrapped the sandwich. He took a slow bite of one corner. It was turkey, not tofurkey or some crap like that, and a lot of the blander vegetables. There was some sort of condiment to keep everything together and keep it from being too dry, but Dee couldn't quite place it. It wasn't exactly what he'd expected to taste, but it wasn't too bad.

"Not bad. Now tell me what it is. I'd be worried it was come or something, but I know exactly what that tastes like."

"Urgh," Ryo made a face. "That's so disgusting, Dee!"

"Well, okay, to be fair, I can only say for certain it's not your—"

"I swear to god I'll kill you if you finish that sentence!" Ryo interrupted quickly. He'd never performed oral on Dee (which he reflected was incredible unfair and selfish of him, since Dee had given him head all the time) and couldn't imagine trying to swallow.

Dee held up his hands in submission, a Cheshire smile playing at the edges of his lips. At least he was in good humor. That said a lot about how well he was healing and feeling. "It's just plain fat-free yoghurt. I googled some stuff trying to figure out what exactly you should eat. It's dairy, I know, but from what I read that just slows healing a little it doesn't actively cause your stomach to bleed. Besides, it's like, a tablespoon tops."

"Huh, well, I've had worse. I would have never come up with that. And the Deli had yoghurt?" Dee asked before taking another bite of his sandwich.

"Yeah, apparently I wasn't the first one to request it. Go figure." Ryo shrugged. "I had them put it on mine too, I'm curious." Ryo took a bite of his own sandwich and nodded, agreeing with Dee's assessment of 'not bad'.

"So, what's crackin' with the case?" Dee asked after a few moments of quiet as they both ate around his coffee table. Primary colors danced on the floor and walls in the dim room, pokemon still playing in the background, though it was on mute.

"I interviewed someone…" Ryo hedged, not quite sure how to tell the tale to Dee, or how he'd react. "Sascha, actually.

"Sascha?" Dee frowned "What for?"

"Okay… you're going to think this is crazy, I did too, but listen to the whole thing before you make up your mind. Also remember that we were functioning, or at least I was, under the assumption that because his lover is a cop that Sascha would be a 100 honest with us… He wasn't."

Dee leaned back against the couch a little, watching Ryo with a frown, trying not to pass any sort of judgment before he had the whole story. He nodded that he understood and motioned for Ryo to continue.

"He left out a lot… and I mean a lot." Ryo sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose. "On one hand, I understand completely… on the other, I kind of want to wring his pretty neck. He called me, while you were asleep, the other day. Sean had heard about your dust up with the uniform—" that was a whole other issue that would have to be addressed, Dee's less then impressive reputation outside the two-seven. "—And had been looking back over some of the briefs we sent out, the older ones. When he was targeting the club crowd. I met with Sascha, and he told me what he'd left out the first time."

The vicodine definitely kept Dee's brain from firing on all cylinders, but he was starting to fit the pieces together as Ryo spoke anyway. "There was a sexual aspect to his assault. It wasn't just a gay bashing." Dee said.

"Right. He wasn't physically violated, which is about all that can be said. It was what he said to Sascha. The way he talked to him as he was trying to subdue Sascha. He's a tough cookie and before this happened, a very confident guy."

Dee knew as well as Ryo what that meant. Confident people were less likely to become victims of any kind of crime, because they were harder to subdue. Confident people fought back. Confident people survived. Not always, of course, but it was about how much fight a person had in them.

"Three black belts, Dee, three. It was because he was blind… merciful and blind. He wouldn't kill the guy even in his own defense, and because he can't see, he couldn't escape." Ryo shook his head, trying to clear away the emotional response he had. That was the thing about becoming involved with the victims, it ate at you. "He survived because he fought back so hard. He couldn't fully subdue Sascha and probably got scared off. Sascha fits the physical type in every way. The only thing he's not is a prostitute."

A bell started to jangle in the back of his mind. This reminded him of something. Sascha reminded him of someone. He just couldn't put the pieces together. "If Sascha survived… someone else has as well. There's someone out there who's managed to survive. Someone before he had this down to a science. If we find that person…" Dee trailed off, his heart picking up speed, and his stomach started to churn, the pain increasing as his immediate stress response increased acid production in his stomach. He paused and closed his eyes, taking a couple slow deep breaths, rolling his shoulders, trying to manage the fight-or-flight response.

"Dee, are you okay?" Ryo frowned, reaching out and touching his shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay," he opened his eyes slowly and smiled. "I just really need to work on stress management. The precinct shrink did a consultation with me on the phone today, not my idea, she said I've 'probably been in crisis' for weeks. Whatever that means."

"It means you're going to kill yourself if you don't find a way to chill out," Ryo sighed. "You need to figure out why your response to this case is so visceral. I mean, I want to catch this guy real bad too, but I'm managing to keep some space. If you don't pull it together, the Chief is gonna pull you off the case."

"I know, I know, damnit. I don't know why I'm so obsessed. It's just so inhumane. For most people, sex work is the bottom of the barrel. That's what you do when you've either got a drug habit so crushing you can't even make enough stealing to support it, or you're so out of options on how to survive that you're basically fucking for food and shelter. If you're a guy, that's an even lower low. It's just not something that would occur to a lot of men as a viable option. Men are consumers of sex, ya know, not suppliers? If you're transsexual, that's probably _why_ you're on the streets in the first place with no other options. I mean, these are the people that need the system the most… and the people the system least wants to help. And this sick son of a bitch is exploiting all that. It's like lighting a building on fire, barring the exits and watch them jump out the windows." Dee shook his head, almost violently, at the mental image that he'd managed to call up for himself. People jumping from the World Trade Centers. Judging by Ryo's cringe, it called up the same for him.

"Yeah, when you see it like that, it's hard not to have an emotional response. Obviously." Ryo's smile was sad and wry. "But if you so bound up in anger and grief… you're just spinning your wheels, you're not helping anyone. You gotta stop looking up, Dee. Focus on who you _can_ save." Ryo swallowed as his throat tightened. Invoking 9/11 may have become clichéd to the rest of the country, but Ryo doubted any one in Manhattan would be able to keep their gut from clenching and playing back their own worst memories from that day any time soon.

"Holy fuck, this is going from bad to worse. Point taken. How about some puppies and rainbows for a little bit," Dee chuckled weakly. "Or start drinking. I'm okay with getting drunk too."

"Yeah, alcohols on the no-no list. I don't have a puppy… and it's a long walk to the Village. We're just going to have to walk it off." Ryo shook himself a bit as he worked to do what he'd just advised Dee to do, stop looking up, even if it was only in his own mind.

"Play through the pain, right, Okay. Sascha. Sascha is a surviving victim. You're sure, I assume?" 

"Positive. His attacker was obsessed with 'mounting him'. Not like 'mount' like dogs 'mount' each other. Mount as in hang. Like mounting a picture or an insect. Which gives us some insight into the guy's mind, and jives with what he's doing to his victims. They're mounted, displayed. We haven't known why. That makes as much sense as anything." Ryo said as he pulled out Sascha's case file and set it on the coffee table, sliding it over to Dee. "Pictures are on top," he warned. Normally he wouldn't have bothered, but considering Dee's current condition, it seemed prudent.

"They always are. That's how we keep out nosey nellies." Dee smiled a little as he flicked it open, shuffling through the pictures of Sascha. Ted had taken a few quick shots as they'd waited for the ambulance. The occasional hand or knee of the two detectives visible at the edges as they'd tried to keep him breathing. They didn't much, the blood, rain and sleet making a mess of any kind of crime scene. The first was before Dee had arrived, the only thing covering Sascha was Ryo's jacket. In the next frame, though, Dee had arrived and they'd gotten the bright orange poncho under Sascha, trying to protect him from the river of city sleet he was laying in.

Ryo watched as Dee looked over the pictures. Dee had seen them before, but it had been just to make sure they had their ducks in a row. Ryo had taken it on, and it had been as settled as the thought it was going to be before he and Dee had joined back up.

Dee lay the second and third photos next to each other. Both were mostly of Sascha already looking like a corpse, laying on the poncho, wrapped in what blankets they'd had. The second one showed Dee in his uniform, from mostly behind, straddling Sascha to perform compressions. There wasn't any specific evidence in them. Ted had just taken them to cover everyone's ass.

The sense of déjà vu that Dee was feeling was ringing more alarm bells in his head. This scene was so familiar. He couldn't place it though. It had been so similar. He could remember it, kneeling on something vinyl, like the poncho, blood everywhere. That was all he could remember, though, kneeling on the vinyl whatever, and it making a sound. It was as clear as the picture he was looking at… but it was just beyond his reach.

"What are you seeing Dee?" Ryo asked.

"I don't know. I don't know if it even relates, to be honest. Sascha isn't the first time I've preformed CPR. I've just got this snapshot of a memory." Dee shook his head, unable to fish whatever he was remembering up from the depths, and continued flipping through the photos of Sascha. The majority were after he was in the hospital, documenting his wounds.

"There's only one laceration on his back," Dee observed. "And it's shallow."

"I know. But the other victims only had the mounting wound on their back, well, and the evidence of a brutal rape, but it wasn't like they were torn up along their back and shoulders." Ryo said. "Sascha said the guy tried to lift him to mount him, that that's what that wound his from, he has no idea what the guy was trying to use, but it was dull, so, it's just a shall gouge."

"Right," Dee nodded slowly. "His coat was open, I can't tell from the photos, was the zipper broken?"

"Yeah, it was. I ripped his shirt open to get at his wounds, but I think I remember that it had already been ripped a little. His jeans are riding damn low, too. Of course, Sascha apparently prefers hipster style jeans anyway," Ryo smiled a little, pretty sure the jeans Sascha had been wearing today we're actually girl's jeans. How he found them long enough to fit was anyone's guess.

"What else?" Dee asked, wanting move evidence. Nothing Ryo had told him felt too conclusive yet.

Ryo ran down all that Sascha had told him, every detail, of which there were many. It wasn't conclusive of course, because so much of what the Meathook murder did was posthumous. Ryo's gut was telling him that it was a match though. After a couple hours, Dee sold on the idea. Sascha fit the physical type too perfectly, what the perp had said to him was too suggestive; it fit too well to be anything else. Dee's mind kept circling back to the idea that there must be other survivors and that alarm bell in the back of his head just kept ringing. The harder he tried to grasp it though, the further it slipped from him.

Ryo left after a couple hours, seeming satisfied with what they'd established, and Dee thought, satisfied at the companionable time they'd spent together. It had been nice, Dee had to admit, and he had missed their friendship as much as anything.

As Dee showered and got ready for bed, the alarm just kept flaring in his mind. Dee just let it, though. He knew how his mind worked. He probably wouldn't be able to put the pieces together consciously. He had to wait for the idea to surface from his subconscious, whole and complete.

Whole and complete… wouldn't that be a nice feeling?

Author's Note: I'm not dead; I swear I'm not dead! Nor am I giving up on any of my stories. I am still in grad school, though, and have a thesis to write. I'm also only just getting back in stride after the ego blow of not getting accepted to an MFA program. I will post chapters as I can. I think I had a break through here with Ordinary Heroes. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Also, if anyone thinks they know what I'm building up to, please **don't** guess in your reviews. I don't want it ruined for anyone. If you absolutely must guess, PM me. I won't tell you if you're right or wrong, but once it all comes to a head, I'll post your name in my AN of that chapter for having guessed correctly. It's not a contest or anything; I just really don't want anyone guessing in their reviews. I've had that happen before. It's a downer for everyone.

I'm sorry for what feels like a token 9/11 mention so close to 9/11 itself. It was totally organic and unintentional. I'm not one of those people who feels the need to do a tribute to it every year and add to the insane nationalism surrounding the even. However, as I said, it just happened organically and I was unwilling to do something different just to avoid 9/11 either. That would be equally lame as intentionally making a 9/11 mention.

That's all I've got for now folks. Hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you liked, what you didn't, or what you were vaguely indifferent to. Reviews are what help all writers keep motivated, knowing that others read their work. For all of you who stick with me, you're so fantastic, I wish I could thank all of you personally! You're wonderful!


	7. Breakeven

Disclaimer: Lyn and Andrew and their beautiful family are mine, must have expressed written consent to use, fanfic or whatever. Dee and Ryo etc. are not mine. Don't sue, I'm poor ^_^;

Ordinary Heroes

Chapter Seven: Breakeven

By: Irish

Ryo sighed with frustration, Dee was going to be pissed as hell when he got back, there had been absolutely no leads on the last murder and Ryo had been commanded by Rose to move on. The Meathook Murderer had gone from killing upstanding gay citizens to trans-identified hookers. It was the reverse of how serial murders usually did things, usually they started with hookers and transients and potentially evolved into more low-risk victims. Worse, now that the Meathook Murderer was targeting people considered to have low worth to society at large, he wasn't much of a priority. Despite the meeting with leaders in the LGBT community a few weeks ago, Rose hadn't hesitated to tell Ryo to put that case on the back burner again, handing him a new file for something more mundane. While admittedly the case on his desk right now looked it would be fairly straight forward (young nurse almost certainly killed by her violent ex boyfriend) he hated this prioritizing of victims.

He flipped through the crime scene photos without any real thought to the gruesomeness before him. It had been a very brutal murder. She'd been literally beaten to death. Ryo had been to the scene that morning, and uniforms had gone to the docks to pick up the ex boyfriend. He was hoping to have this wrapped up by mid afternoon and get back to what Ryo was starting to think of as The Case. Ryo was just jotting a few notes when the door of their office opened, Ryo frowned turning toward the door, wondering who had the temerity not to knock.

Dee had had the temerity not to knock. Which seemed fair, it was his office too. But Ryo hadn't been expecting him. The raven haired detective offered a grin and a wave. "Hey, miss me?" he smirked a bit. Ryo's answering smile was a little uncertain. He was pleased as hell to see his partner, but he wasn't sure Dee should be back to work yet. He also didn't like when Dee put on that cocky obnoxious personae, the one he used to hide his vulnerability, the playa, the bad boy, the willing-to-fuck-anything-that-moves cockiness. But, Ryo didn't really blame him either. Dee probably felt a little uncomfortable coming back to work. The reason for his absence the past few days had been hard to hide considering Ryo had had to walk Dee through the bull pen to get out to the car, and Dee had been ashen and carrying a garbage can for a puke bucket. He also reminded himself that he had no rights to Dee's inner life any more. They had regained ground, they were friends again. But Dee didn't even reveal himself to his friends most of the time.

"Yes," Ryo replied honestly, "I did, its too quiet when you're not around." Words Ryo had never thought he'd utter in his life 'too quiet.' Dee seemed a bit confused by that answer, enough so that he didn't make any smartass remark in return, just shut the door and rounded their desks to sit down behind his. "Are you supposed to be back to work yet?" Ryo asked him, assuming the answer was probably no.

"Does a bear shit in a phone booth?" Dee replied with a grin, looking his desk over. Ryo had tidied it up some while Dee was gone. He couldn't resist. The clutter had been driving him crazy. Ryo frowned to the question, uncertain for a moment.

"Um… no?" He suggested finally. Dee made a 'and there you have it' sort of gesture with another grin. Ryo rolled his eyes, but his smile was one of familiar amusement. There was no one quite like Dee that was for damn sure. "Okay, well, whatever, but you're staying at your desk then, no matter how good of a lead turns up or what sort of case crosses our desk, alright? Your word?"

"What do you mean what sort of case crosses our desk? We've only got one case." Dee frowned deeply, sitting up in his desk chair. Ryo sighed.

"No, no we don't. Rose has been keeping the caseload light the last few days. But I've had two others. The Meathook investigation is once again regulated to the back burner," he held up a hand hoping to delay any potential explosions from Dee. "It sucks, I know it sucks. But there is literally nothing we can do about it. The best thing we can do is get the rest of our caseload taken care of as quickly as possible so we have time on the case we should be focusing on. Complaining and be stubborn won't help."

Dee frowned deeply, opening his mouth to object, then closing it again, shaking his head. "This is bull shit. The worst sort of bull shit. The exact sort of thing that is wrong with law enforcement in general. Ignoring this case is the same as saying that everyone of those women… and men…" Gender was little ambiguous, all the victims had been genetically male, but other than the first few, they'd all presented as more or less female. "Deserved to be raped and murdered. That their lives don't count."

"I know, Dee, I know," Ryo shook his head, "And you're absolutely right. But it isn't our call. You need to quit bucking in the traces. Because if you don't you're going to be pulled off the case. And then what? Then who will be looking after these people? You're the best man for the job so your first priority needs to be doing whatever it takes to stay on this case. Even if that means not devoting every minute of your working day to it."

Dee made a frustrated sound and shook his head, clearly pissed, but he took a breath. "Yeah, yeah alright. I got this." He said, rolling his shoulders a little, "So what are we working on instead?"

Ryo went over the current case with Dee, though really only half his mind was on it. They'd have this wrapped up soon. He was pretty sure a Law Enforcement Explorer Scout could have solved this one. The rest of his mind was thinking about Dee. It was impossible not to. He hadn't been ready to see Dee today, having made no mental preparations. He'd been struggling since he'd brought Dee to his place, after his little trip to the hospital, to maintain the distance that Dee said he wanted. Struggling to respect their friendship and not push for more. He loved Dee. He loved Dee, and bravado to the contrary, Dee was still just barely keeping his head above water. Ryo wanted to hold him, wanted to protect him, find some way to make it better. Dee didn't want to let him in though.

Ryo gave an internal sigh, he'd been stupid, painful stupid. He'd been cruel too and whether or not he'd meant to be was still up for debate. Even in his heart of hearts, Ryo didn't know, couldn't trust his own judgment. He'd known Dee had a very tender heart under all his tough guy bluster. Had he realized how tender? How fragile Dee's self esteem was? How valuable and rarely given his trust was? He didn't think so. That was why this case gutted Dee, Ryo thought, his tender heart, his tattered self esteem. Dee himself had been abandoned, by his mother, and by the public at large. Ryo knew as well as anyone that when babies were found abandoned like Dee was it made the news and usually there were dozens, if not hundreds, of people wanting to adopt those kids. Not Dee though. He'd languished in that orphanage his whole life. When he'd turned eighteen, which would have been something like two months before he'd graduated high school, he'd been turned out on the streets to sink or swim. The system didn't care that he hadn't finish school. It didn't care that eighteen was just a number that didn't actually confer an adult's ability to cope. Mother Maria would have had no choice in the matter either. So, he'd been abandoned again. Ryo wondered what Dee had done for those two months while he was still completing high school, because he had completed high school, that Ryo knew.

"Dee?" they had both been looking over some paperwork the case, silence long having descended over the office, though Ryo hadn't really been reading his share of the paper work, mind turning over these questions of Dee.

"Yeah?" Dee looked up, raising his eyebrows, "See something interesting?"

"No," Ryo shook his head, and in what was a very Dee-like non sequitur said: "You aged out of foster care before you'd graduated high school,"

Dee's eyebrows raised further, "Um, yeah, I did. A little more than two months before. What's that got to do with anything?"

"Nothing… I was just wondering what you did, I mean, how did you manage to stay in school and stuff, that must have been really hard." Especially considering Dee was no Rhodes scholar, and by his own accounts hated school with a passion.

Dee shrugged, "Well, it wasn't like it was a surprise. I'd known my whole life that literally the day I turned eighteen I was on my own." He replied, turning his eyes back to his paper work.

"Sure, but what did you do?" Ryo asked, pressing a little, wanting to know now. As Dee had pointed out a few weeks ago, men were far less likely to go into sex work. Homeless boys though, that was a different story, and at eighteen Dee would have been more boy than man. Maybe that's why Dee was so touchy about this case.

Dee chuckled, fairly humorlessly and shook his head. "You're wondering if I turned tricks to pay rent, aren't you?" He shook his head. "No, Ryo… I've done a lot of things in my life, but sex for pay isn't one of them. Well," he paused, and that cocky grin was back, "Not yet anyway. I'm still young enough to be a high end rent boy, don't you think?"

Ryo's cheeks heated as Dee displayed his almost eerie ability to know what Ryo was thinking, and his blushed deepened further as Dee continued. He shook his own head hastily. "No, Dee, I didn't… I wasn't… forget I said anything." He muttered, face feeling hot and red as he picked up his paperwork, trying to hide behind it as Dee chuckled again. Ryo cursed himself for just blurting that out, he was going to be embarrassed for the rest of the day, and Dee probably wouldn't let it go either. It was going to be a very long day.

"What? You wouldn't pay to have sex with me?" Dee teased, but there was a hardness under his jocular tone, a cutting edge that Ryo didn't understand entirely, but he did know it meant that no matter how much light Dee made of things, a nerve had been touched. Ryo didn't think it was because Dee had turned tricks, in his own words. He hadn't been lying; Ryo could see that. He had no idea how to respond to that question though, pretty sure there was no right answer.

He was saved by the bell, or in this case, the cell. His cell phone rang on his desk sparing Ryo from having to stumble through that minefield. He snatched up the device and tapped the screen, "Hello, this Randy McLean." He hadn't even bothered to look at the call ID.

"Hello Randy McLean, this is Lyn Doren," a familiar and amused voice came over the line.

"Dr. Doren, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Ryo asked, voice light, a smile gracing his lips. He hadn't done more then exchange some emails and texts with Lyn for the last few weeks, too much on his plate for much of a personal life. Across their desks, Dee's phone rang as well, Dee answering it after a couple rings in his usual fashion.

"Laytner," he answered shortly, Ryo having half an ear on Dee as he listened to Lyn, starting to chuckle when Dee met his eyes as he spoke into the phone, "Hey Andrew," Obviously this was a team effort.

"Andrew and I wanted to invite you and Dee over for dinner again. We know you've been working like crazy. The girls haven't seen either of you in ages." Lyn replied, "Bikky's welcome too of course."

"Sure, that would be great, when?" Ryo asked, meeting Dee's eye again, as he nodded a bit, to him or to what Andrew was saying, he wasn't sure. Either way, Ryo couldn't help but smile at Dee. Dee smiled back, but it was quick and short. Ryo remembered a time when Dee would gaze into his eyes, how intense that had been, how difficult it had been to meet those emerald eyes. Now of course, all Ryo wanted was those tender lingering looks. Dee wasn't interested, so far as Ryo could tell.

"Is tonight too short of notice? No worries, if it is, but we figured there's no time like the present." Lyn replied cheerfully. This time it was Dee who caught Ryo's gaze, mouthing 'tonight' and raising his eyebrows. Ryo nodded to him before returning his attention to Lyn.

"No, tonight's fine, though I know Bikky's got plans." All the better, really. Ryo still didn't like being home by himself very much. He heard Dee echoing similar agreement to Andrew, Lyn paused a moment, obviously in the same room with Andrew, getting confirmation from Andrew that Dee was available as well.

"Great," Lyn said, clearly pleased, "Our place, then. Dinner at seven, you're welcome any time after five. Whatever works for you."

"What can I bring?" Ryo asked, hating to show up empty handed.

"Some wine? We're having salmon, but it's a little spicy, so probably a white wine like Riesling?" Lyn offered, "Or whatever you like, I've yet to turn down wine," he laughed.

"Alright, I can do that, no problem." Ryo agreed readily. "I don't know when I'll be there, but by seven for sure."

"Whenever you get here is fine. See you tonight, Ryo," Lyn said before hanging up.

Dee was on the phone an extra minute or two before he hung up as well, flashing Ryo a brief grin. "So, over to Lyn and Andrew's for dinner then?" they hadn't both been there at the same time since they'd broken up.

"Seems like," Ryo nodded, "I'm bringing wine, Lyn said something white," he said, more making conversation than anything.

"I'm in charge of dessert," Dee nodded, "I'll keep in mind you're getting a white wine," he replied, "I'll probably just buy something," he shrugged, "I doubt I'll have time to make anything."

"Well, you know every bakery in the city worth the name, so even 'just' buying something I'm sure it will be excellent," Ryo replied. Dee was an excellent cook, and could bake pretty well, some things anyway.

"I doubt you're stomping those grapes yourself, so I won't feel too bad," Dee teased.

The rest of the day had passed fairly quickly, and with the dinner plans in the offing, Ryo even got them both out of the office at five. After having only an eight hour day for a change of pace. Ryo went home to change, opting for khakis and a sweater instead of the slacks and button up he had on for work. He arrived at Lyn and Andrew's just after six, bottle of wine in hand, wondering if Dee was here yet.

There was the pitter patter of little feet, and the flwop flwop of Duke, their Great Dane also making tracks to the door. After a moment the door opened, a bit slowly. It was Keiry who answered the door. She was going to be starting kindergarten next fall, which Ryo could hardly believe. She'd just been two when Ryo and Dee had first been over to Lyn and Andrew's for dinner. Duke stood just behind her, watchfully, like a four footed nanny. Ryo couldn't help but break into a grin to see the little girl. She was still adorable, though she was clearly picking her own clothes these days, if the mismatched socks, black and white striped leggings and pink tutu, matched to a little green hooded sweatshirt with what looked like Shrek ears sewn to it, were any clue. She was also wearing a pair of swimming goggles and at least a dozen bangle bracelets… on her legs. She waved hugely to Ryo, her little hands immediately flapping away as she signed at him. Ryo was only to catch about one sign in five, school… cat… sea turtle? He nodded along though as he came in, crouching down and giving her a big hug.

"Hello?" Lyn called, coming out of the kitchen, smiling wider to see Ryo, "Well hey there, stranger, its good to see you." He said, coming over to where Ryo stood with Keiry and Duke near at hand. When Lyn reached out to embrace him, Ryo returned it readily.

"Its good to see you too, I haven't meant to be a stranger." Ryo replied, stepping back and looking Lyn over. Lyn had some issues with food, and on his tall gawky frame, it was pretty easy to gauge how well he was doing. "You look like you're no worse for wear,"

Lyn chuckled, holding his arms out and turning in a circle briefly for Ryo's inspection. "No, I'm doing pretty good," Lyn agreed. He was wearing dark wash jeans with a camp shirt that had what Ryo thought of as a hipster black and blue pattern he more commonly associated with flannel shirts. The sort of thing he would have thought was too rustic for Lyn, until he saw him in it. And he looked healthy, for which Ryo was immensely pleased.

"I take it Dee's not here yet?" Ryo asked, following Lyn back to the kitchen where he was working on getting dinner ready.

"No, not yet. Andrew's upstairs with Annie, getting her a bath. There was an incident with a bottle of maple syrup." Lyn replied, gesturing to the stool in one corner, Lyn never let anyone help in the kitchen. Which Ryo found a bit maddening, but he knew the routine now and took his seat on the stool after putting the wine in the fridge.

"Oh dear, that sounds sticky," Ryo chuckled. "But since Dee's not here yet… don't let him talk about work, okay? Have you guys talked to him much? He's in pretty rough shape."

Lyn glanced at Ryo frowning a bit. "We've both talked to him on the phone a time or two, but no, we haven't really. What do you mean rough?"

"A few days ago, I had to rush him to the emergency room. He was throwing up blood by the pint, it seemed." Ryo shuddered a bit in recollection. He was just glad he'd managed to be able to function and not throw up himself. "It was a stomach ulcer. They fixed him up without too much problem, but he's been off work not quite a week. He came back today. Rose is making us push the Meathook case to the back burner again. He's taking this whole case so damn personal." Ryo sighed. "I know ulcers are caused by a bacteria, not stress, but at the very least, the stress isn't helping."

"Oh my gods," Lyn said, "that's terrible, no, he hasn't said a word. Of course he hasn't," Lyn sighed, shaking his head. That was Dee. He didn't know how to ask for help really. Not when it was personal.

"Of course he hasn't," Ryo agreed. "And of course, I can't do much for him. There's only close he'll let me get and…" Ryo gestured vaguely, sighing.

"Which is no where near as close as you want to be," Lyn nodded.

"Right," Ryo agreed again, nodding, "and I want to be there for him. If we were still together, I don't think he'd be obsessing over this case like he is. But he's got nothing else to focus on, so…" he shrugged.

"And?" Lyn asked, glancing over his shoulder from where he was cooking over the stove. Keiry was playing on the floor with some matchbox cars of the variety that you could pull back to wind them, then let them go and they'd shoot across the floor.

"And?" Ryo replied, not sure what Lyn was getting at.

"And what else? You're worried for him, but I can sense a certain melancholia in your aura as well, so to speak," he grinned a little at his half ironic New Agey turn of phrase.

"I don't think he even misses me any more. I mean I know its been a long time. A little more than a year. I'm sure he did his grieving when I was doing my best to tell myself I didn't want to be with him anyway. It feels pretty crappy though… now that I know what I'm missing, what I want, how I feel… I think he's totally over it. Normally I'd say his ongoing celibacy would indicate otherwise. But, with how stressed he's been over the case…" Ryo shrugged, Dee's lack of bedmates was equally attributable to that.

Lyn nodded to that a bit. "I see. And what are you doing about that? I mean, do you know how he actually feels or are you just guessing?"

"Just guessing," Ryo said after a moment, "But he hasn't opened the door at all past a certain point."

"And what have you done to show him you're worth a second chance?" Lyn asked, raising his eyebrows, nudging a matchbox car with his foot from where it had ended up under the counter back towards Keiry.

"I've… well, I've…" Ryo stopped and frowned. "I suppose being a good partner and a friend doesn't quite turn the trick." He said with a shake of his head. "He pursued me so intensely—" Before Ryo could finish the thought, there was a knock at the door. Keiry didn't hear it of course, but Lyn stamped his foot lightly on the floor until she felt the vibrations and looked up to him. He signed something to her, and she was off at a run again, then there was the scramble of Duke lurching to his paws in the dining room and high tailing it after her.

"Speak of the devil," Lyn said with a smile, setting his wooden spoon down in the spoon rest and wiping his hands before going to greet Dee as well. Ryo slipped off his stool and followed so far as the doorway from the kitchen into the dining room, though he could see the front door from there, offering Dee a wave when Dee looked in his direction.

Dee embraced Lyn, kissing his cheek, and picked up Keiry, tossing her in the air until she shrieked with laughter. She was a little big for that game, but neither she nor Dee seemed to mind.

Andrew came down with a freshly bathed Annie a few minutes later, and then there was a few minutes of chaos as hands were washed and food was plated and wine poured. Dinner was excellent, salmon marinated with a honey and ginger glaze, brown rice, a spinach salad with mandarin orange slices. Dee had brought some tarts from one of the various bakeries between his place and Andrew and Lyn's. Conversation was a little challenging, only because they all made concerted efforts to sign when they spoke, even though they weren't speaking directly to Keiry. Lyn and Andrew did so with near-fluency, Ryo struggling a bit more, reminding himself to find the time to take a class in ASL.

After dinner, Dee went into the living room with the two girls, playing some sort of game that seemed to be half tag, half hide and seek, and involved a pretend fairy wand. Ryo intended to join, since Lyn and Andrew refused to let either of them help in the kitchen. Instead he ended up just watching Dee play with the girls, watching him smile and laugh, reflecting on what a pity it was that Dee didn't want kids. He was a natural with them. He also thought over what Lyn had brought up. What had he done to show Dee he was still interest? The closest he'd come in months was letting Dee sleep with his head in Ryo's lap, and he'd been sick at the time. That didn't really count. Before that, the last thing he'd done was try to kiss Dee… months ago. Dee had refused him, but he hadn't said no. He'd said 'don't push your luck.'

Once dishes were done, Lyn and Andrew took the girls upstairs to put them to bed, leaving Ryo and Dee to entertain themselves for a bit. Dee almost immediately went out on the back deck. Ryo wasn't sure if Dee was avoiding him. That seemed unlikely, they'd been spending more time together, socially even, not less. But Dee didn't say anything, just opened the sliding glass door in the dining room, letting Duke out, and following the dog out into the night. After a moment of consideration, Ryo followed.

The view was nice, and it wasn't the yard Ryo was enjoying. Dee was leaning on his forearms on the rail of the deck, bent over a bit, muscular ass in well fitting jeans nicely on display. The radio was planning softly. Lyn had probably left it on earlier in the day when he'd been out here probably having a smoke. Ryo frowned a bit though as Dee exhaled a lungful of smoke himself.

"I thought you quit?" Ryo said, closing the door behind him, moving over closer to Dee.

"Its one of Lyn's cloves," Dee replied, before taking another drag, "And it's the only one I've had all week,"

"You know cloves are just as bad as regular cigarettes," Ryo sighed shaking his head a little, but smiling a bit. He couldn't fault Dee the small indulgence though.

"Yup, but they taste better," Dee's tongue ran over his lips picking up the sweetness left by the light coating on the filter before inhaling again. "Did you come out here to watch me smoke?"

Ryo shook his head, leaning against the railing himself. "No… not exactly," his eyes wandered over Dee. He was sex on legs, always had been, a combination of good looks, the athleticism of utility of movement combined with a certain physical confidence. Dee could do amazing things with that body, both in bed and out of it. Ryo shook his had at himself, trying not to mentally undress Dee. He managed at work, because work was work, right now though it was hard to remember Dee was no longer his. The smaller detective reached over and plucked the cigarette from Dee's fingers lightly.

"Hey," Dee said indignantly, "Lyn will be pissed if you butt that half smoked,"

Ryo raised his eyebrows and instead of butting it out, brought it to his own lips, entirely amused at the surprise on Dee's face as he took a drag himself. He didn't really inhale. He'd never been a smoker. Oh he'd had a cigarette or two in his time, you didn't make it through the Army without occasionally having one. It was a social thing. But he'd never been able to really inhale without coughing and he didn't really want that in his lungs anyway. He exhaled the smoke that hadn't quite made it to his lungs and handed the cigarette back to Dee with a little grin.

"What, you think I've never had a smoke in my life," Ryo chuckled.

"Honestly? No," Dee replied shaking his head. He hesitated just a moment, looking at the cigarette before returning it to his mouth. "Besides it's a cigarette, not a joint. Puff puff pass isn't exactly the norm."

"Because you've never had your mouth the same place I've had mine before?" he smiled again and shook his head. Ryo had never in his life tried to seduce anyone, and flirting wasn't exactly his forte either. But he was willing to try. Willing to make a fool of himself even, if that's what it took.

"Not in a long time," Dee replied with a shrug.

"No… not in a long time," Ryo agreed, "And that's my fault. Entirely. But it doesn't have to be like that you know. I know I couldn't flirt my way out of a wet paper bag… but I'm trying." He glanced at Dee out of the corner of his eye with a little smile.

"Ryo… come on, don't man. We've been doing good as partners… as friends. Far better then we managed as lovers." Dee shook his head, gazing at the glowing tip of the cigarette between his fingers.

"You don't feel anything for me any more then? Beyond that?" Ryo asked softly.

Dee scoffed, shaking his head, "How damn long am I suppose to pine for you? Just… what? Stay in love with you forever? You don't want me. But you don't want me to move on either."

"No, no Dee, that's not what I meant," Ryo said earnestly, putting a hand on his forearm, not wanting him to turn around and go back in the house. Not thinking what he was thinking anyway. "What… what I meant is… I feel more than that for you. I'm still pining for you. You…" Ryo laughed softly, shaking his head a little, "God, Dee, you pursued me so long. You wouldn't take no for an answer… because you knew, like you always know, what was really on my mind. What I really wanted. But I'm not as good at knowing your mind. I probably should be. I've had all the chance in the world to learn. That's my fault too. So… what I'm saying is, I don't know if you really mean you want to move on… or if you're saying that but really mean that… that trust takes time."

Dee had straightened as Ryo spoke, no longer leaning on the railing, and Ryo straightened too, looking up into Ryo's eyes, very dark in the dim light, and hard to read. Ryo offered a small, shy, smile before ducking his head. Dee's gaze was still so damn intense.

"I don't know, Ryo. I don't know what I think, or want, or feel. Feeling is something I've been trying hard to avoid. Its easier… better… if I tell myself that this is what its always been, partners, friends. That anything else was just some vivid fantasy I dreamed up. Never real. It wasn't real." His shoulders lifted and fell again. "Its been all I can do to pick up the pieces. And lets be honest, I've done a mediocre job at best. I just don't have anything to give you."

"That's okay," Ryo stepped a little closer, daring to rest his fingers lightly on Dee's chest when Dee didn't step back. "That's okay, you've given more than your fair share. But let me rectify that, sweetheart. I think I can."

Dee looked down at the hand on his chest, but didn't brush it off or step away, he didn't move any closer or reach out himself though, either. "I don't think you really want me though," he said with a sort of bitter amusement. "You being in denial was only part of the problem. I'm still me. I'm still the sort of guy who should be fixing your car, not fixing you breakfast in the morning. I haven't gotten any smarter, or less foulmouthed or… or anything really. I'm still just an ill mannered stray. I embarrass you. I always have."

Ryo was quiet a moment, his immediate response was to deny that Dee embarrassed him. Dee knew bullshit when he heard it, though, and Ryo had been embarrassed by his lover on more than one occasion. "It isn't you, Dee, its me. Its me valuing the wrong things in life. Valuing appearances and opinions that I shouldn't. What I was doing was worrying that my car had scratched paint, when it was about to throw a rod and already had two flat tires. So I fixed the paint job, then couldn't figure out what happened when the car died."

"What kind of car?" Dee asked. Whatever response Ryo had been expecting it wasn't that, but he liked the little smile Dee had, small, secret, but amused.

"Um… what's a good kind of car?" Ryo asked.

"Depends. Personally, I like my cars like I like my men," he said, the smile widening a bit. Ryo had heard this little _bon mot _any number of times and smiled too, saying his line.

"Oh yeah? How's that? Old and rusty?"

"Small and Japanese," Dee replied, smile brightening further. Ryo's heart fluttered and leapt. There might still be a chance for them. He laughed softly, resisting the urge to kiss Dee, for the moment anyway.

"Alright then, a Honda," Ryo replied, he inched a little bit closer, less then a hand-span between them now. Ryo was able to feel the heat of Dee's lean frame. He was always so warm.

"Maybe you worrying about the right things then," Dee replied, smile fading a bit, "A Honda's engine will go forever, the entire frame will rust away before the engine stops. Once you scratch the paint, its only a matter of time before it starts to rust."

Ryo shook his head, he hadn't intended the metaphor to go this far, but so be it, it seemed to be working. "Nope. Who cares how much it rusts, so long as it works? Extended metaphor aside, Dee… what I'm trying to say is that I took you for granted and I know it. I won't make that mistake twice." He flattened his hand against Dee's chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart through the thin material of his shirt.

"You could have anyone. You're lonely, you're horny, and I'm close at hand. I'm always close at hand," Dee sighed, chest rising and falling under Ryo's hand. "I'm glad you aren't so deep in the closet you're finding Satyrs any more. That's a miserable way to be. But I don't think its me you want, I think its just _someone_."

"That's not true. If you really want me to… to gain some experience to prove that its you I really want, I'll do it, because I need you to know that I want to choose you. Eyes wide open. You're the only one for me. But I'd really rather not. I'd rather you took my word for it. But if I need to prove it, I will." He'd had prime rib, he had no interest in trying hamburger just to prove a point. He stepped a little closer again, now just a couple scant inches between them. Slowly Ryo slipped his other arm around Dee's waist, leaning forward just enough to rest his forehead against Dee's chin.

Dee closed his eyes, able to smell Ryo's hair, feel the warmth of him, and wanting nothing more than to fold Ryo into his arms, hold him and never let go, cling to him. Worse, the urge to beg for forgiveness, for leaving Ryo in the first place, for daring to not immediately fall back into Ryo's arms when Ryo had shown signs of wanting him again. Intellectually he was pretty sure he had no apologies to make. But despite all of this, he still held Ryo on a bit of a pedestal. Ryo was better then him in pretty much every way. Who was Dee to deny him?

"Ryo… I—"

"Don't," Ryo said softly, straightening a bit to look into Dee's eyes. The hand on his chest slid up over Dee's shoulder and along his neck, then jaw, before cupping his face gently. "You don't need to say anything," he murmured, going up on his toes a little, his lips finding Dee's and kissing him, softly at first, but lingering, wanting there to be no mistaking his intentions.

Dee tasted like sweetness and smoke against his lips. Ryo lingered, waiting for Dee to kiss back or push him away. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Dee's lips responded, pressing against Ryo's. Dee tilted his head a little, allowing their lips to melt more thoroughly. Dee's hands slid up Ryo's arms gripping his biceps with gentle hands. It was the first touch Dee had initiated in a very long time. Ryo parted his lips, tongue teasing against Dee's, wanting to deepen the kiss, and after a moment, Dee obliged him, lips parting, tongue returning the light dancing touches of Ryo's. The smaller detective made a small sound of pure want, pressing against the slightly larger frame of his partner, hips to chest, his fingers sliding back into Dee's hair. One of Dee's arms finally came around Ryo's waist, pulling him closer for the last few moments the kiss lasted.

It was Dee who broke it, straightening, his arm around Ryo loosening. He didn't step away entirely, but Ryo sensed he was about to, starting to shake his head. "Ryo…"

Ryo shook his head in return. "I know, by rights, I should have to spend two years stealing kisses and groping you while you push me away. If I have to I will. You deserve as much as you've given me over the years. I think we'll both be happier though… if you're more honest than I was." Ryo pressed a kiss to his chin.

"What do you suggest?" Dee asked, sounding a little weary and resigned. Ryo didn't like that, but he could only fix it if Dee let him.

"That you let me come home with you," Ryo replied, boldly, perhaps rashly. Dee was so walled off, though. One thing Ryo had learned about Dee early on, sexual intimacy was very much about connecting with someone else, about finding humanity, finding respite in someone's arms, even fleetingly.

"Ryo…"

"Tell me you don't want it Dee, tell me you don't want to be with me, and I'll drop it. I'll never bring it up again. Tell me no, Dee, and I'll take you at your word." Ryo said softly, his dark eyes studying Dee's face, brow furrowed, heart in his throat as there was a long moment of silence, Dee's eyes downcast, not meeting Ryo's. Ryo was sure he was about to be told no, that he'd have to give Dee up, give up on them.

"Yes," Dee whispered finally, "Yes, I want to be with you. I can't have my heart broken again, though, Ryo… I can't." His voice was low and rough. If he'd thought Dee even really knew how to cry any more, Ryo would have said his voice was thick with tears. Even if that wasn't quite the case, it was intense with emotion, and Ryo didn't for a moment doubt the seriousness of this statement. Ryo didn't know what the consequence of breaking Dee's heart and trust a second time would be. But he had no intention of finding out.

"I won't, your heart is far too precious a thing for me to be careless with. I know that now." Ryo smiled a little, stepping closer again, this time just wrapping his arms around Dee, hugging him close. Dee's arms slipped around his waist, and when his head came to rest on Ryo's shoulder, Ryo stroked his hair tenderly in comfort. "I love you, Dee, I love you and I've been the worst sort of fool."

Authors Note: Okay, first update in four and a half years. But hey, at least there is one, right? I do have the start of the next chapter as well, that's why the ending here is a little abrupt. I needed to make the cut somewhere, and this was the best I had. I won't make any promises about when it will be posted, or if I'm actually 'back' as a writer. I'm as surprised as you are to have written this. But it feels good. Thanks to all of you who have stuck with me low these many years. Welcome to any who are new, and thank you to Jax who has been my number one fan for years.


End file.
